Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss) profile picture

Thomas Ross

@notThomasRoss

If I'm stretching the truth, it's only because I've outgrown it.

 Portland, OR
Joined November 2010
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Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)Photo by Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)
"What I liked about Al-Anon was that no one gave me advice..." New #flashfiction by Nicole Simonsen: tinhouse.com/honest-open-wil…
Image from Thomas Ross (@notThomasRoss)
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So if he's stretching the truth, it's only because he's outgrown it. bbc.com/news/world-us-canada…
*fourth longest, excluding Joe Biden teapawt.net/IronWidowsPeak/status/…
Iron Widow's Peak (@IronWidowsPeak) profile pictureIron Widow's Peak@IronWidowsPeak20 Jun 2017
On Medicaid, my record speaks for itself: 133 seconds—the fourth longest kegstand in congressional history. motherjones.com/politics/201… #WI01
Paul Ryan: We've been dreaming of slashing Medicaid since my kegger days

Paul Ryan: We've been dreaming of slashing Medicaid since my kegger days

Bro.

motherjones.com
Hello! I'm a sentient widow's peak, I'm running against a mustache for #WI01 in 2018, and today I'm drawing my #hairlineinthesand.
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Replying to @IronStache
Trust me, @IronStache, I still find plenty of time to "work the iron." #doyouevenlift???
Image from Iron Widow's Peak (@IronWidowsPeak)
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BOB LOBLAW SLOBS DON'S KNOB #RNCinCLE teapawt.net/ScottBaio/status/75450…
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... vs how I actually feel after #awp16
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How I am presenting after #awp16 ...
Jonathan Taylor Solder Spy #90sABook
Can you get a contact high from anaesthesia? Because Ben Carson definitely has that.
@catielyoung So, so deeply worried about you right now.
Last question: "God and the veterans." #GOPDebate playing fast and loose with the definition of "question."
According to my #GOPDebate #drinkinggame any time someone says "pimps" you get the option to just drink yourself to death.
Ben Carson please list all the things you can think of that are "what the Commander in Chief does." I bet you can't hit ten. #GOPDebate
"That was an interesting exchange."—Possibly the biggest lie of the #GOPDebate so far.
Moderator: Mr Trump, you told a woman you wanted her on her knees on TV. @realDonaldTrump: "We need brain." #GOPDebate #dudethatmeansoralsex
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Colin Farrell's performance as #RevengeDad Ray Velcoro on #TrueDetective already inspiring IRL copycats cnn.com/2015/06/22/entertain…
#bodygoals #inspiration #motivation #weinerdogs nydailynews.com/news/nationa…

Dennis the dachshund goes from 56 pounds to 12 pounds on doggie diet!

COLUMBUS, Ohio — Once a wanton wiener dog, Dennis went on a diet and is now a happy shadow of his former self after losing more than 75 percent of his body weight. Less than two years ago, Dennis...

nydailynews.com
Let's get rich together: I am now accepting concept art submissions for a new children's educational character, Hepsie the Hepatortoise.
Today in context free sloganeering: #GyrosNotEuros
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