the pan-midwesterner

[my dad is in the backyard motionless gazing off into the distance] wife: what’s he doing me: oh, there’s a long standing tradition in my family her: what is it me: i... just... told you?

guy strutting down 125th with a boombox on his shoulder, except it's my 5yo with her yoto and it's blasting prince caspian

everyone’s a aliebn

i started using one of those food tracking apps and in seven minutes my dasher will be here

A decline in murders across Oakland is being welcomed as a public safety win, but it is also contributing to a downturn for some local homicide detectives.

when they need repairs done do van life people just like spend the night at the shop

if i were a figure skater i would simply do a triple axel every time

my wife just explained to my children that i am not in fact the strongest person in the world please respect my privacy at this time

if you think about it everyone is either a firstborn or youngest child

what’s up with attachment theory calling them styles? secure, anxious, dismissive, fearful. as if one isn’t significantly better than the rest. no. they’re just “styles” like an active choice. same as your clothes. i’d be secure but that just isn’t my style.

whenever i read advice for better sleep

i just saved thousands on a new car by sending in my four year old to negotiate

i want to be an influencer but like an anti-influencer where everything i do is framed as something other people should definitely not do

Breaking: Woman Who Hates a Messy House Wants Another Kid

you know what rocket money won’t tell you? that you have two subscriptions to rocket money

falafelraptor

[times square new year’s eve 30 mins before midnight] we should leave now and beat the crowd