Patrick Ramirez

Me- If A.I. told you to jump off a bridge would you do it? Everyone under 30-Well, which A.I.?

Guys be weary of women who start alot of conversations with "I had this boyfriend once..."

When I started comedy comics would be furiously writing in notebooks in the back. Now they're furiously setting up tripods

I'm voting for the candidate that texts me the least

I'm big in the bot community

I wouldn't say I'm depressed but I have been singing along lately to music in the grocery store

I really want to have a deep political discussion but there isn't a coffee shop anywhere near me

Tom Brady is now explaining how to throw a football

Game update: Erin Andrews has been attacked by a gang of rival birds

Lived experience- Translation: this happened to me once.

Don't start a conversation with me by saying "here's the thing"

Go ahead Apple keeps sending those updates, I'm never backing up my iPhone

If I never date a triathlete this life will be a success

I'm very popular in the bot community

If your having a bad day, feed a dog some chips and enjoy.

Let's be real for a second, Mark Sanchez has a great "drunk story"

The Mahomes back to school haircut is throwing me off

My dating profile just says "my iPhone has never been backed up, deal with it"

Never get involved with someone who's really into jogging

I'm off all the dating apps, I'm down to just hope now.