@pdallisonesque

By day, mild-mannered editor @POLITICOEurope, Declassified columnist, occasional stand-up comedian, and writer/performer @SchumanShow. By night, same.

 Brussels, Belgium
politico.eu/tag/declassified/
Joined December 2014
  • Tweets5.6K
  • Following2.5K
  • Followers2.7K
439Media
Paul Dallison retweeted
Marion Solletty@MSollettyOct 16
The EU bubble as Marine Le Pen dreams it Aka read this by @pdallisonesque and have a good laugh because we all need it ⤵️ politico.eu/article/marine-l…

Marine Le Pen’s EU dream is a nightmare for Brussels

Readers of a nervous disposition, look away now.

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The B to the L to the O G (also the OG EU blog) Summit live blog (obvs) at @POLITICOEurope politico.eu/article/eu-leade…

EU leaders wrap second day of talks, leaving open questions on Ukraine and budget — live updates

Marathon two-day summit sees posturing and clashes — yet little tangible movement on the most urgent challenges.

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Paul Dallison retweeted
Gerardo Fortuna@gerardofortunaOct 13
An instant classic in the very first Madrid Playbook (and the kind of line so good you want printed on a t-shirt). Huge congrats to @anvillarino @kikeandres @mendezrafael on an incredible debut, it was well worth the wait! Already looking forward to the next editions
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Hitler Mussolini wins local election!! politico.eu/article/hitler-m…

Hitler Mussolini wins local election

Peruvian voters pick their new mayor, despite his unusual name.

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Reading off the lineup at a prog rock festival
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Ask me again in 10 seconds and it'll be different, but here goes... my9albums.com/s/3nMFtT77r1

My 9 albums

#1 Record, Yankee Hotel Foxtrot, Rubber Soul and 6 more. Pick yours on my9albums.

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There's only appropriate punishment ... make them give back Elliot Anderson for nothing #nffc
Max Scott
@maxbscottSep 25
A seismic day for English football. This ruling is incomparable to Everton, Forest and even Chelsea (who largely self-reported their breaches). Manchester City appear to be guilty of what is essentially corperate fraud on a mammoth scale, cheating the system by inflating commercial revenue/sponsorship payments, allowing them to become the club they are today. Its calls into question the integrity of one of the most significant and dominant Premier League champions we’ve ever seen.
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Paul Dallison retweeted
POLITICOEurope
@POLITICOEuropeSep 25
The United Nations General Assembly is like Christmas with the extended family: Hours of extreme tedium, punctuated by the occasional offensive outburst or fistfight. In his Declassified column, @pdallisonesque revisits the explosive moments at UNGA 👇 politico.eu/article/boredom-…

Boredom, ranting and clowns: Welcome to the UN’s big bash

The U.N. General Assembly walks a fine line between excitement and tedium.

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Paul Dallison retweeted
POLITICOEurope
@POLITICOEuropeSep 11
French President Emmanuel Macron wants Europe to develop a crewed spaceflight program within a decade. But what would life in the EU even be like in 2036? @pdallisonesque imagines it in his latest Declassified column 👇 politico.eu/article/eu-in-sp…

EU in space: Going boldly where plenty of people have gone before

In space, no one can hear you regulate.

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For reasons I can't explain, I've been writing my Declassified column @POLITICOEurope for 7 years. A huge thanks if you've ever read it (even if you then emailed to ask 'is this supposed to be funny?') politico.eu/article/dont-tak…

Don’t take the red pills with Trump’s face on them!

The U.S. president’s face is everywhere, from illegal drugs to overpriced money.

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Paul Dallison retweeted
POLITICOEurope
@POLITICOEuropeSep 4
Some drug dealers have been making ecstasy tablets shaped like the face of Donald Trump. But his likeness isn’t just appearing on narcotics. Read more in @pdallisonesque's latest Declassified column 👇 politico.eu/article/dont-tak…

Don’t take the red pills with Trump’s face on them!

The U.S. president’s face is everywhere, from illegal drugs to overpriced money.

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Paul Dallison retweeted
john sturgis@sturgiosSep 1
In fairness it’s been going downhill for some time
Martyn Ziegler
@martynzieglerSep 1
BBC announces that Ski Sunday is being scrapped after nearly 50 years.
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Paul Dallison retweeted
Gerardo Fortuna@gerardofortunaAug 28
EXCLUSIVE: Indian PM Narendra Modi is planning to attend the European Council summit in December. The EU and India have concluded negotiations on a trade deal but haven’t signed it yet. Could this be the moment? Great scoop to close the week by @zoyashef politico.eu/article/indian-p…

Indian PM Modi expected to attend December European Council

Participation would enable signing of EU-India trade deal, which opens up market of 2 billion people.

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What I was up to 34 (!!!!!!!) years ago
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Paul Dallison retweeted
POLITICOEurope
@POLITICOEuropeAug 28
In his latest Declassified column, @pdallisonesque is launching a competition to find the most spineless creature in Europe. It is open to all cowardly politicians and also actual invertebrates. politico.eu/article/a-lack-o…

A lack of backbone! How jellyfish are taking over the world.

The spineless creatures have already stopped French power generation. Next, they’ll be teaching us how to be immortal.

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This week's Declassified column has a joke about Proust in it, which makes the ratio of dick jokes to highbrow literature gags I've done 5000:1 politico.eu/article/politics…

There’ll be some ups and downs: The politics of theme parks

Some amusement parks are inappropriate, some are political, others are just downright weird.

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Paul Dallison retweeted
POLITICOEurope
@POLITICOEuropeAug 19
French MEP Manon Aubry wrote on social media yesterday that she was in hospital after being bitten by a viper. She is not the only politician to have been attacked by an animal. @pdallisonesque recalls some of those cases in his Declassified column 👇 politico.eu/article/snakes-o…

Snakes on a campaign! When animals attack politicians

A French MEP revealed she was bitten by a snake. She’s not the only politician to be pricked by a creature.

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Paul Dallison retweeted
Sam Blewett@BlewettSamAug 17
Scoop: Andy Burnham engaged with messages from somebody impersonating one of Donald Trump’s closest advisers, four officials say The PM swapped several messages with someone posing as White House chief of staff Susie Wiles before becoming suspicious the contact was phoney
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Paul Dallison retweeted
POLITICOEurope
@POLITICOEuropeAug 7
Brussels is now emptier than Donald Trump’s loyalty card for the salad bar. So @pdallisonesque asks: Should the EU work through August, just in case there’s a major crisis? Read his latest Declassified column 👇 politico.eu/article/31-days-…

31 days of solitude: Welcome to Brussels in August

Should the EU work through August, just in case there’s a major crisis?

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Paul Dallison retweeted
POLITICOEurope
@POLITICOEuropeJul 31
FIFA is moving toward further monetizing football. In his latest Declassified column, @pdallisonesque asks whether politics could be next to fall victim to greed 👇 politico.eu/article/football…

Football and politics, brought to you by Big Business (and energy drinks)

FIFA is selling football down the river. Will politics be next to fall victim to greed?

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