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my eternal love in this life is art: music, films, novels, poetry, paintings. it’s all so enchanting.
so back to investing for retirement, working out for sustainable body function, spending money on lasting pieces instead of temporary numbing, developing photos for an album— bc maybe we will have a future. maybe longevity is a possibility. thank you, blue, for renewed hope <3
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he probably replaced me with another amazing woman, who will probably be hurt by him— but i replaced him with a better, smarter, stronger, hotter, more discerned version of me
i hate myself for what was done to me, and it’s not logical because it wasn’t my fault, but that’s what lives here now and i don’t know how to change it. i don’t know how to live with it anymore. it ruins something, forever.
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love can be beautiful and earth shattering— but it’s never real, for me. what it does is, it creates a black hole that sucks up everything— every rape, every heartache, every time i was told i was too much from my parents— and it makes it disappear for a moment. -
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i just wish you would’ve been honest… i can respect that through the sadness and accept it. but ur a coward and that’s pathetic, and i had to be sad anyways.
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i feel like my family has a gc like “this bitch off her rocker again…” aHHHH anyways hbd zendaya <3
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