Jordan (@placenta_effect) profile picture

there is absolutely nothing wrong with me at all

Joined August 2025
Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)Photo by Jordan (@placenta_effect)
Sometimes I worry women only talk to me because I can solve a Rubik’s cube in under 20 minutes
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Jordan retweeted
Impromptu work potluck tonight, and i GOTTA be possessed by the ghost of a dead dumb bitch, cuz i really said "i'll make jalapeño poppers" before i could stop myself and now im cutting up 30 jalapeños at 730am instead of sleeping
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At a whores house party and just pissed in her laundry detergent
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Dumpster diving for McDonald’s monopoly game pieces
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At a house party
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Hooking my wife’s cpap mask up to the vacuum cleaner while she’s asleep
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mmm SUPPEE R time
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crazy ass last name
I voted today 🗳️🇺🇸
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Replying to @iwrite1008
Maybe your mom should’ve only smoked a cig or two during batting practice instead of 40 a day every day for decades
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My wife hates it when I use her expensive fabric scissors to discipline the kids lol
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Sexually harassing the Amazon AI chatbot
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Sorry about the bed bugs, it’s genetic, I get it from my mom
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16 speakers two subwoofers with megaphones full volume and microphone direct feedback loud bass challenge
16 speakers two subwoofers surround sound challenge
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pussy so fat that when she queef it runs up the front of her jeans and pops her button open
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For Halloween im gonna be a guy with super stinky farts
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Indian mermaids
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This definitely moves like a real life Veggietales character
Born in Brazil with no arms and no legs, Briel Adams-Wheatley was abandoned at the hospital shortly after birth because of her disabilities. At 9 months old, she was adopted by a big family in Utah. Her new mom pushed her to be as independent as possible. With no way to attach prosthetic limbs, Briel taught herself to navigate the world using only her torso, neck and chin. She learned to climb stairs, swim, write and cook on her own. In 2020, she matched with a man named Adam Wheatley on a dating app. They got married the next year and ended their wedding by jumping into a pool together. Two years later, Briel told the world she was a transgender woman. Adam stayed by her side.
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Can’t afford a crib so I just give my toddler a Viagra at night so he doesn’t roll off my futon
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Boss makes a dollar, I make a dime, that’s why I jelq on company time
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