failing no nut november on day 2 by masturbating to tasteful yet sexually charged photos of myself dressed as Daphne Blake for Halloween
The Brewers regarded smoking cigarettes before games as a good luck charm and their motto was ‘if we smoke heaters in the cage, we will smoke heaters in the game’
Christian Yelich on this:
“You walk by the cage and see the cigs lit and you’re like, the boys are ready to rock.”
(Via @JeffPassan)
the responses to this... no wonder that western mass. dyke bar went under... never felt more disconnected from my community in my whole life
Replying to @texturedprotein
follow-up step: Stop Paying After Every Drink!
this is a majorly time-wasting nuisance. open a tab, pay when you’re done for the night. you are slowing your bartender down drastically for no reason if it’s already busy. especially if you aren’t tipping well lmao???
his aura basically put this country into a decade long bout of psychosis
[Obama voice] i'll have the uhhhhh Bang-Bang Chicken & Shrimp with a slice of Oreo Dream Extreme to go
Obama 🔥: "The president wasn't even mad about the Saddam Hussein comparison! That part didn't bother him. But he was very upset about the Cheesecake Factory comments. He took great umbrage. The mobilized a whole of government response to that joke! They told the Treasury Secretary to hold a press conference in front of the Cheesecake Factory. This really happened."
i don't believe people who say they've never heard the Drink and Jack Off By Myself Ella Langley song. i don't like it but i'm not going to pretend it doesn't exist. heard it at the airport earlier today. either they're lying or they don't go outside
recreating the thrill of pretransition halloween by dressing butch 99% of the year and spending the last week of october with as much leg showing as possible
long gone are the days when Vincent "The Chin" Gigante would wander along bleecker in his bathrobe pretending he was crazy to avoid criminal prosecution, now it's overpriced smoothies and mormon cookie chains
one of my mother's gimmicks is that she won't acknowledge any "new" neighborhood names. refuses to call it "NoLita" because it "wasn't called that when i lived there." "DUMBO" is an elephant as far as she's concerned
ARABIZED NIXON: TE Lawrence was the faggiest guy i've ever known. running around Cairo in a white dress, he'd fit right in with the Bohemian Grove crowd, him and that Sherif Ali
ARABIZED HALDEMAN: [inaudible]
ARABIZED NIXON: they run the banks too
Belle retweeted
it's crazy how Curtis Sliwa is just thought of as a quirky uncle or a defender of local communities now. I just read about how in the Goetz trial he and the Guardian Angels were allowed to do a re-enactment for the jury that pretended the shooting victims were actually robbers.
half of all beltway male escorts have a Lindsey Graham story lmaooo like i'm sorry your "breaking news" can't be some shit my upstairs neighbor at my old place in DC told me while we were hanging out 7 years ago




























