Trojan

im cooked

it cracks me up that this tweet is pretty much the exact same plot as one of the first narrative films ever made (a trip to the moon). 120 years of technological evolution and humans' go-to story is still "what if the moon had fucked up little creatures"

*rewatching a recording of my wedding vows after a divorce* erm... that one didn't age quite so well

>claims to be anti-abortion >kills his presidential campaign before it even releases

*trying to 1-up someone who raised their hand in class* oh yeah well i have TWO dentist appointments at 2PM today

eggnog only being sold seasonally is so ridiculous. like, imagine if you weren’t allowed to buy candy on days that weren’t halloween or weren’t allowed to argue with your family on days that aren’t thanksgiving

Looks like twitter is really dying now. Gotta say that despite the absurd amount of spam bots that occupied the site, the borderline unusable reply sections on any big post, the random trending tab junk, the inconsistent application of the TOS, the unbearable user base, (1/149)

Studio Ghibli flowers look so beautiful❤️

this is probably what hell looks like

happy 3 years on twitter i hated them all

i've come to the conclusion that there's a roblox simulator for everything

where are you gonna go now dumbass. yeah. just keep running in circles. fool

wtf i've multiplied

i can't believe i spent several hours making this shit

i think the new minecraft update is broken

birthday

this year's halloween trick or treating is just gonna be dm advertising

finally i have gathered enough participants for a 100-person twitter follower battle royale

wtf that's me