Alan Brown

No matter what happens tonight, the real winner is physical fitness. #PaulTyson

I can tell how long this flight has been delayed by the tone of voice every mother is using right now. #flightdelay

Shout out to Captain Ron for keeping it real. I hope @AmericanAir will listen to his feedback to improve their processes.

Was flipping through the channels, saw Jeff Dunham and decided to just read.

Nick Sirianni looks like he’s always suffering from “pretty bad” allergies. #philadelphiaeagles #eagles #FlyEaglesFly #somethingintheair #SundayNightFootball

I love baseball. #Baseball #TexasRangers #ALCS

Every hotel and air BnB in Texas has a black and white photo of a fuzzy steer.

In a horizontal world, be vertical development. #txwx

Hail in Carter Riverside neighborhood of Fort Worth, east of downtown. Outdoor sirens going off now. @NBCDFW @CBS11 @wfaaweather @wfaa @FOX4 #txwx #dfwwx

Peter Sarsgaard laughs like you fell for his trap and he’s got you where he wants you and he can’t believe you were really that stupid.

Of all the things @leonbridges has achieved, getting introduced by @KermitTheFrog has to be up there.

I had a dream Paul Thomas Anderson made a sequel to Twister.

Had a dream I met Nicolas Cage for some type of meeting in an outdoor park. When he was leaving I noticed he had a basketball hoop with a basketball in it tattooed on his throat. I mentioned it and he said, “Yeah, I always seem to get caught in the middle.” #DreamsOfCage