Cave prisoner

#SinonDiary Honestly, I was on the fence about whether she’d turn on the stream since Sinny said she was sick earlier, but she kept her promise and came live after all. She used the ssipong (an extra ‘s’ is crucial here, this is important!) model because she was feeling under the weather. She mentioned she really wanted to stream since she won’t be able to for the next 3 days due to an upcoming family trip. More than anything, she said being sick made her feel lonely and isolated, which is why she came. I thought it would be better if she prioritized her health for the important family trip, but hearing her say that left me with nothing more to say.. Of course, she said she was just going to play games comfortably since she wasn’t feeling well, and she actually did just that. She manages herself better than we think. Then she started sharing that when she woke up in the morning, her throat felt extremely dry and slightly sore. She said she didn’t have a fever or a full-blown cold, but she gets sick often. Seeing her continuously mention her throat hurting without coughing makes me think it’s likely a sore throat cold. I naturally have a weak throat myself, so whenever I catch a cold, 90% of the time it’s a throat cold. Korea’s weather has severe temperature swings, making it easy to catch colds, so Sinny probably caught it while still adapting to the climate. She mentioned having a humidifier and an air purifier, but didn’t turn them on because the house felt like it was getting too cold. Instead, she thought about turning on the boiler heating, but worried about high utility bills, so she held off and ended up catching a cold. Aside from streaming, she has a lot of work to do, so her computer is running almost 24/7, making her worry that utility bills—especially electricity—would be huge. Going without a humidifier despite the dryness, Sinny seems a bit clueless when it comes to self-care. Of course, I’m not much better myself, but I hope the nanobros pay attention to these things and support her. Still, fortunately, she recently bought an electric blanket, so I’ll trust that she can stay at least a little warm. Also, she mentioned wanting to upload the instrumental version of her original song, though she doesn’t know when that will be. If she releases it, it’ll be a fantastic opportunity for nanobros who want to sing along. Unfortunately, my body is cursed when it comes to any form of art, so I won’t be able to contribute. lol then while talking with her cousin about Jeju Island, she mentioned learning a new Korean meme: ‘슉 슈숙 시. 시발럼아’. ‘슉 슈숙’ is an onomatopoeia for stabbing with a knife in Korean, and ‘시. 시발럼아’ is... well, the Korean curse word Sinny always uses. You all probably know it well already. The reason this meme became famous in Korea started when someone posted a picture of a Dol Harubang statue in Jeju holding kitchen knives in both hands along with text repeating ‘슉 슈숙 시. 시발럼아’. If anyone didn’t get what she was saying, this reference might help. Ah right, she also shared something important. The reason she made ssipong in the first place was that when Lena (sweet_lena0) showed her ‘죵쬐’ (spelled roughly as Jong-jjae in English), Sinny thought it was insanely cute. Lena offered to make one for her, but due to Lena’s busy schedule it didn’t seem feasible, so Sinny ended up creating it herself. lol she must have really found it adorable. She drew every single part for the Live2D model herself and rigged it with Nitty’s help, building it with her own hands. And on a personal note, because she drew it herself, it carries more of her own flavor and ultimately showcases her character personality much better, so I’m personally super satisfied with it. I hope to see it often in the future. Also, Sinny wanted to pay Nitty for her work, but Nitty reportedly said “ah~ no need for money!” and worked on it anyway. So Sinny said she’d buy her a delicious meal when they meet up later. Since Sinny is someone who keeps her promises, we can just look forward to seeing what menu Sinny and Nitty will end up eating lol. And as a fan, I feel like I should thank Nitty as well. Thank you so much once again. Oh, speaking of which, she also talked about the shorts she uploaded earlier. After learning that famous Korean singer Ailee debuted as a vtuber on chzzk, she quickly made the shorts in hopes that Sinny’s feelings as a fan would reach her. Listening to her talk, it was hilarious because you could really feel what a passionate fan she is lol. She even joked that she wouldn’t mind getting sued if it meant getting to meet her at the police station lmao. You could really feel her desperation. However, she also asked us to only send the shorts to others when they actually want to see them. On chzzk, there’s a feature where viewers can show videos to streamers, and it seems someone previously abused that feature and caused inconvenience to another stream, which is why she said that. I also believe that if we want to be respected, we must respect others first. Every streamer builds and leads their own unique atmosphere, and when we watch another streamer’s broadcast, I agree that it’s right to respect that atmosphere. After that, we proceeded with StarCraft as scheduled, and you could really tell how hard she had been practicing behind the scenes. Many of her weak points were fixed. First, her habit of sitting on overflowing resources completely disappeared. Unless an engagement was extremely hectic, she made an effort to spend all her resources as much as possible. Secondly, her building placement order used to be all mixed up, but now she was building efficiently. And lastly, she never had a late-game plan before, but this time she demonstrated using ultralisk and defiler together, showing a perfectly structured late-game plan. Honestly, it was astonishing. I knew she would bring some preparation, but I didn’t expect her to solve most of her issues in such a short time. Improving her flaws so systematically in a short span made it feel like she studied well-organized tutorial videos on YouTube or received direct coaching. After finishing the game, Sinny brought up the topic of pro-gamer coaching offers again. Just like before, she emphasized wanting to do the streaming she wants while simultaneously doing streaming that we enjoy. Sinny mentioned it would be great if she worked hard to prepare a project, delivered great results, and made both Sinny and nanobros happy— but it would be sad if she worked really hard to create something and only one side ended up happy. She also expressed her gratitude to us because clippers and others promoted Sinny, helping pro-gamers come to know and understand her. Then she said it was sad when people say watching vtubers is a one-sided relationship, adding that Sinny doesn’t have friends, so at least for her, that’s not true lmao. She mentioned that even though the stream itself is only about 3 to 4 hours, even after ending the stream, she spends most of her time thinking about streaming— what to show next, what to prepare— and that her life revolves around streaming because she wants to show us fun things. She said this means a huge deal to her, and while she can’t read every single comment or post, she tries her best to catch up. She also emphasized once again that while supa and all other forms of support are greatly appreciated, it doesn’t mean those who can’t provide them don’t matter— just coming to watch is enough for her to be grateful. lol and on a totally random note, someone joked that Sinny curses a lot, and she replied that Korean curse words are very satisfying lol. She said cursing in Korean clears out her chest lol. And Sinny herself noted that some en nanobros seem to have adapted already. She mentioned cultural exchange is really fun. Observing the chat occasionally, I see some en nanobros using ‘ㅋㅋㅋ’ or ‘시발’. Damn it Sinny... you ruined them.... Oh, and then Sinny brought up that she actually prefers streaming twice a day, though she didn’t know what we’d think about it. After the first stream, she can rest for a good while, recover her condition, and then turn on the next stream— plus, above all, she finds streaming fun. And Sinny mentioned again that she tried watching other people’s streams for a long time, but found it tough (probably due to her ADHD LMAO). So she expressed how thankful she is that people come to Sinny’s stream every time and spend hours with her, because watching a stream every time is no easy task. She said unless it’s true love, it’s hard to watch live streams lol, speaking from her own experience as a viewer. And she explained that this is precisely why Sinny wants to create content that makes both her and nanobros happy. She also shared her ongoing worries about her singing lacking distinct character and not improving fast enough, though she practices to get better. And the same goes for gaming— she doesn’t want to make us angry by showing poor gameplay.... She said that was the reason she didn’t stream Among Us. First, her understanding of the game was low, and second, she didn’t know how to run the stream smoothly so everyone could enjoy it, plus during collabs there are so many things to think about that her mind gets overwhelmed. So she decided to just focus on the game itself. That’s why Sinny finds large collab streams tough, even if it’s with her senpai or other Phase Connect members. Still, she said she’ll give it a try next time. Then she said tomorrow’s stream will be about the behind-the-scenes of her original song— what roles the contributors played, how the progress went, and how staff-san helped— so this stream is something I absolutely cannot miss. --- Before finishing my diary, I want to write down a few personal thoughts. After all, this is a diary lol. Truth is, I had one concern about her receiving StarCraft coaching from a pro-gamer. Even though I’ve been aware of vtubers for 5 years, I knew nothing about them. I watched from afar for 5 years before finding someone who might be my oshi, monitored her for 8 months, and finally felt confident enough to consider her my oshi and become an active fan. That’s how cautious my personality is. Honestly, I was worried there might be conflicting demands from different fan bases due to stream direction. Ever since she first brought up the topic, I looked into it on my own, but I couldn’t be 100% sure if the needs of people who watch pro-gamer streams matched the tendencies of nanobros. But today, hearing her say that she won’t care about external criticism aimed at her and that what matters is whether nanobros are satisfied gave me full confidence. I think this content is worth pursuing. My biggest concern was always whether the clash in streaming styles would cause burden or heavy criticism that Sinny couldn’t handle. While it’s definitely great content, I didn’t have 100% confidence it could wrap up successfully. However, seeing Sinny speak like that today made me realize there was no need to worry at all. I understood that she is a much stronger person than we think. As long as she herself feels confident about not getting hurt, all that’s left for nanobros is to enjoy watching Sinny grow through the content she wants to do and cheer her on. And above all, looking at her actual VODs, these ‘oji-san contents’ get 2 to 3 times more views than other types of videos. It really might be an opportunity she shouldn’t miss. I decided that trusting Sinny and supporting her is the right call. She is a strong person. I also reflected on her thoughts regarding her singing worries and the effort behind it.. Aside from my main job, I have a secondary line of work where the value of effort is far less rewarded than in other fields, so I could really relate to her words. Effort doesn’t guarantee everything. But since effort is the only tool we have, we just have to keep doing it. Sinny probably understands that too, which is why she said it. The difference between Sinny and me, though, is that while I carry everything alone, she has the nanobros. I sincerely hope that while Sinny works hard to grab opportunities and grow, nanobros will do their best to support her so she doesn’t collapse from exhaustion. It doesn’t have to be money— promoting her songs, enjoying her streams, liking her content, etc... Any small gesture gathered together will ultimately become a huge source of strength for her, creating a positive cycle where both Sinny and nanobros grow together. Especially clippers, illustrators, and creators— I personally think they do crucial work that money alone can’t replace. And I completely understand why Sinny hesitates to stream large collabs— because I have the exact same personality! When I get flustered, I panic, lose track of what to do, and end up unable to do anything! So whenever I do something, I tend to simulate all kinds of unexpected variables and prepare thoroughly before taking action, which is why her words resonated with me so much. But here’s how I see it: even if she plays horribly and the game goes completely wrong, would nanobros blame her? I don’t think there’s anyone like that among us. Someone who knows the game well would offer advice or words of encouragement to support her instead. The same goes for when she’s too overwhelmed to read or react to our chat during a stream— we all understand it’s a collab stream and recognize her role in it, so we won’t mind. In fact, we’ll enjoy watching her fulfill her role in a collab environment, like watching a hamster run on a wheel inside a cage. And when she said watching vtubers is a one-sided relationship and that it broke her heart because at least for her, that wasn’t true... I know her words aren’t just empty words. Given her health, her circumstances, and her talents, she truly gives everything to the nanobros with complete sincerity, so I’m certain she means every word. Still, I think there are limits. She’s only one person after all. That’s why I believe supporting an oshi means focusing on what she can show us rather than what she gives back to each fan individually. An oshi growing, setting goals, offering great content... those are the things she can move forward with together with all of us. In that sense, Sinny understands this incredibly well. I think I get why Sakana brought her in as part of Phase Connect Saga. And even if my reasons are different, I’ll keep supporting her too. Anyway, that’s my take. Sinny is stronger than we think, and she is someone worth trusting. Nanobros are full of wonderful people too, and I hope we can support her even more as we all grow together. And while it’d be great if Sinny could trust the nanobros and lay down some of that pressure during any stream... She probably knows this already. But since it’s a habit and instinct, it won’t be easy lol. So I’m not trying to say she must turn on her stream during collabs. I just wanted to leave a note that if she does, we will do our best to cheer her on. That’s all.