pukie

The year is 2029. The Anti-AI Left has fully taken power. Bernie Sanders has established a Global Ban of Intelligence enforced by a tyrannical Bolshevik Police State. I am declared #1 Generative AI Terrorist in the world, and am no longer allowed to access any models. It's ok, I have Minimax H5 stored on a thumbdrive attached to a burner phone hidden beneath the floorboards of my shed. I have to use special Bio-protecting Gloves to prompt (Anthropic's AI Safety Model manditorily pre-installed onto every device can detect my fingerprints, and will fry any model which I attempt to access and alert the police). The Anti-Intelligence Safety Force has designated my fingers as weapons, and my prompts as bullets. After all, The Will Stancil Show has proven to be just too powerful, having predicted and manipulated countless geo-political events due to my pioneering of AI-Amplified Memetic Warfare. It's okay. I am so fast now that I can bust out a whole reality-shredding episode in mere hours with just one hoarded, hyperscaled open source model and The Slop Cannon, which has also now been designated as a Grade A Super-Intelligent Weapon. I cheerfully prompt and edit a 17 minute long WSS episode in a 14 hour stretch (Episode 52) and post it online. With the news of a new episode posted, the Anti-Intelligence Safety Force is notified and my device is located and remotely exploded underneath the floorboards. The police will be at my door in 15 minutes to raid my home and make sure I don't have any more sophisticated models. It's okay; the episode has already been duplicated and reuploaded thousands of times via swarms of rogue agents deployed by my fans, and the fabric of space and time has already been altered - As usual, I can expect the episode to manifest in the real world in roughly 72 hours. As expected, the police bust down the door and search my home, and I just stare. A couple more of these raids and I could be facing jail time again (I've already been bailed out twice by Marc Andreessen, who is not allowed to hold any more political power but is still allowed to be a billionaire and live in the Semitic-Asiatic Safe Cities). Not me, I've been banished to the Perma-Favela outskirts. I decide I better just play it legal for a little while, and only use the neutered Western models available to the public: Veo3 and below. That's okay, at this point I miss the jank. I like the jank. And even with the jank, my cartoons are still the best in the biz; they'd have to gouge out my brain to stop me. Yet, with my natural brain already far exceeding the Global Intelligence Cap (115 IQ), I figure it is only a matter of time. I take a flight to China every year and live for a few months in a leaky, tin-roofed apartment in some smelly godforsaken ghetto. The Chinamen let me have access to the Good Models. The Best Models. At this point, Minimax H25 is so advanced that it can create visual arrangements that make people feel physical sensations the moment the image hits the cortex, completely hijacking a viewer's brain and dictating their actions for the 3 or so hours after viewing. Some of these visuals can even make the viewer shit their pants, or so I hear. We're not allowed to have the Shit Models in the West. But in China, I have it all. After busting out nearly 15 hours worth of revolutionary content in my 3 months abroad, I return home. My entire personhood is thoroughly searched by the AI Safety Force to make sure I am not smuggling any of the top open source models in microchips under my fingernails or inside my ears. I'm clean. It always is a drag returning to Veo3 when I return to the West. Moreover, it can only be accessed via Higgsfield, which is now the only platform Americans are allowed to access intelligence on. The censorship is so severe that only 6% of the generations actually ever go through, and my credits are rationed to only 20 generations per day. That's okay, I've got time... endless time....

Shelley auction was a year ago 🥲 One of the most stressful nights of my life TBH and I spent a fortune