rain thots

never be afraid to cut someone off by saying i was speaking and have nothing to back that up – at Brooklyn, NY

Thinking about going rogue

LinkedIn posts are like as a salesperson I am driven by making sales

uhhh, barista there appears to be some sort of fungus in my coffee??? OoooHhh I thought you said you wanted a MOLD brew coffee oops my mistake

Unc got that government-issued aura. Zero motion, federally chopped.

Been in a timeloop for the last 60 years

Imagine being a settler on the wild front ear

Woah woaahh woah sweet foid of miiiy-yi-yiiine

How about a day of the living

if you leave Mountain Dew and Doritos out for gamer claus on the eve of the GTA release, he might bring you a physical copy of the game

I ♡︎ Fracking

I don’t get how people get depressed.. just do goat yoga

I heard the plane in Florida was approaching the speed of light before it the ground and completely evaporated

Guys I faked my death I’m not really dead

When a boomer calls you Padawan it’s a great sign of respect in their culture

Wait you are jacking off a lantern?

Last Halloween I gave you my pumpkin the very next day you gave it away

I hope I give out not just a mysterious gambler aura, but also ancient chinese vibe as well

Dear Valued Customer, Fuck You

apparently this was everyone last night