My face is like this because one time I eyerolled during an eclipse.

It feels like a good time to sacrifice another billionaire.

That time I turned up to his house wearing only a trench coat and nothing else and he wasn't even home

I went a little harder on leg day yesterday than usual, and now every time I stand up, a part of me prays for a swift death.

I come to this place to tell lies

Ended out with a group of people who are autistic, and one of them can only really communicate through dance. So I've spent two hours dancing with him and I've had such a good time!! My legs are going to be so fucking sore tomorrow.

Farting! at the Disco

I really need to stop dating 28 year olds.

hi handsome: wants me to fuck him hi cutie: wants to fuck me hey bitch: wants to marry me

Mr Chum 🧡

Opened the grindr app while trying to turn off my alarm

Once again, I'm letting myself be convinced I should do a PhD

When he told me there could be a thousand people in the room but the only one he could see was me

Sorry, I can't come out, I gotta wash my pubes

What the fuck is going on with my life?

This isn't good for my self of steam

The sad thing is I have some quite nice photos of myself and some good memories, but my ex-husband's presence befouls them to the point where I don't want to look at them ever again.

Pretty sure my cat thinks his name is "What the fuck are you doing now?"

Let the record show that they were in a situationship with me, but I was NOT in a situationship with them.

Yes, all my eggs are in one basket. Why do you ask?

What kind of gay man (or more likely a lesbian probably) designs underwear with the clear intent of crushing the genitals? Which is where, I believe, the SOUL is stored?? Barbaric. I want no part of this!!