DRFLA

🚨There is a strange thing that happens in some families when parents get old. The same mother who spent twenty years cooking meals, washing clothes, tending sickness, and sacrificing sleep suddenly becomes an inconvenience when she needs somebody to drive her to the doctor. The same father who worked forty years providing for his household becomes a nuisance when he needs help carrying groceries. The children have grown up, purchased homes, established careers, and developed schedules so important that apparently the people who raised them must now make an appointment three months in advance to receive fifteen minutes of attention. Some people have enough time to scroll through social media for four hours, but not enough time to call the mother who spent eighteen years answering every time they cried. That’s quite an accomplishment in modern family values! First Timothy 5:4 says children and descendants should “learn first to shew piety at home, and to requite their parents: for that is good and acceptable before God.” Notice where Paul placed the responsibility. AT HOME! Some Christians are prepared to travel halfway around the world to demonstrate compassion but cannot find their way across town to help their aging father. They’ll contribute to a dozen charitable causes, attend three ministry meetings, and volunteer for every religious activity on the calendar, but ask them to help their mother with an essential need and suddenly they’re busier than Moses trying to get Israel through the Red Sea. If your Christianity can reach the other side of the world but cannot reach your own parents when they genuinely need help, something has gone wrong with your understanding of practical godliness. Now, that doesn’t mean parents have the right to become lifelong dictators over their grown children. A mother does not acquire ownership of her son’s marriage because she once changed his diapers. A father cannot demand every dollar his daughter earns simply because he paid for groceries when she was twelve. Scripture requires wisdom, and caring for aging parents does not mean neglecting your wife, husband, or dependent children. There are also circumstances involving serious mistreatment where assistance must be provided through safe and appropriate arrangements. But don’t take those legitimate distinctions and turn them into excuses for plain old selfishness. There is a difference between a parent who genuinely needs assistance and one who demands control, just as there is a difference between an adult child who cannot help and one who simply cannot be bothered. God knows the difference, even when the relatives pretend not to. Proverbs 23:22 declares, “Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old.” There is something worth considering before another year passes. The father who once carried you may eventually need help walking. The mother who once fed you may eventually need somebody to prepare her meals. The hands that worked for your benefit may become too weak to perform the simplest tasks. And one day, if the Lord tarries, you may find yourself sitting in that same chair, wondering whether the next generation has time to remember you. Honour your parents while you still have the opportunity. Flowers on a grave may look beautiful, but they cannot replace kindness that was withheld while somebody was alive to receive it. The fifth commandment was never intended to become a sentimental inscription on a tombstone. It was meant to govern how we treat our parents while they are still here.