Sauce Brain

He's waking up from the fentanyl and moonwalking across the recovery room

You could camp in my backyard, I don't think anything will eat you. A coyote might come to say heyyyyyyy but it's doubtful.

Instead of sports, I walk around my backyard sharpening knives. It takes up a lot of time.

I can only throw tools up to guys on scaffold.

Don't worry, it was a joke. I don't do sports like football and stuff. If you want a ball thrown to you, ask my wife. I throw like grandma.

The doctor came out in his Philadelphia Eagles scrubs to tell us it went great. I told him the Eagles suck.

When I went crazy in the hospital, I started smoking this nicotine juice instagram.com/p/BL3HMjkD3Rh/

I can cut cloth with a Microtech knife though, so scissors quickly become irrelevant in this conversation

Cut from a different cloth, they didn't even use similar scissors

Your boy works Saturdays now. How else can I afford these Microtech knives?

The building im working on is located near a marsh. Actually, I think they built on the marsh

I've been out in this marsh staring at Orion

My kids hate to wait, so I paper chase

It's natural to fall off, just land close to the tree

Paid dues, but still have bills to pay

I cry a lot, but admit to it.

The skies over your head ain't safe no more

Stop teasing me with these survey phone calls. Just tell me when I'm the match. #bethematch

You could be a diamond, or Lego, or a Hershey chocolate bar. RT @_harry_tuttle_: @saucebrain legos too

If you're implying that you may be a diamond, I'll cut you.