Kalonzo Musyoka talks of State House yet the optics at Wamunyoro risk making him look like a guest in someone else’s presidential script. A presidential aspirant should set the national agenda, not become a footnote in another man’s political story.

Sponyo spent his 65th birthday at his Gicheha farm in Nakuru. Remember sometime last year when Aoko told us that he was already in ICU, making a reservation at Paradiso State Lodge along Sayuni Lane, and that his mother, Mama Ngina was wailing uncontrollably, refusing to switch off the machines keeping him alive? Eeeeii, that woman was too much kiawa! May the good Lord keep Muthamaki for many more years and bless him with good health.

Last night Chemu received a deep tissue massage from her husband of 12 years, except this one came with zero relaxation and a very unhappy ending. The man reportedly suspected that his wife had been engaging in some extracurricular horizontal engineering with other men, serving them the food that faces the earth namna hatari. It's said that this was not the first time the daughter of Agrippina had been booked for this particular lethal spa treatment. For years, she had allegedly been covering the bruises with makeup, smiling for the cameras and pretending everything was good in that thing called Mareej. But yesterday the massage therapist apparently abandoned the scented oils and went straight to the heavy duty equipment. Daughter of Agrippina aliwekelewa kifoi na kunii namna hatari. The session was so thorough that Chemu came out looking like a moshongo chicken with a beak installed on her mouth. GBV is not a joke. Ladies, the moment a man lays his hands on you, don't wait for the next appointment at the lethal massage parlour. Your life is worth more than that Mareej. Run, seek help, and protect yourself before the situation becomes fatal. No amount of love, marriage certificates or 12 years of history is worth losing your life. A husband is supposed to be your partner, not your personal boxing coach. Son of Adonija has since disappeared into thin air, but DCI sleuths are on his radar. Very soon he'll be cooling his Sundus at the govt owned Airbnb located in a gated community along Kamiti Rd. Chesaa! Kama kawa sisi walala hoii hatuna maoni, Letu Jicho tu.👀

We will mourn Raila Odinga like we never had any differences with him. We will mourn him not because he was always good to us, but because the democracy we enjoy today stands on his shoulders. He bears the scars, and he deserves the credit.🕊️

The BnB business is slowly collapsing because nowadays, men have decided to cut down on operational costs. You’ll find four men renting a studio, furnishing it, then splitting the costs among themselves. Mtu akipata mboga anaenda kuuma anawacha kama Kila kitu ni safi for the next champ to occupy. Buana business has been really bad for us BnB owners over the last two months. The bookings have gone down, and the bills aren't waiting for anyone.🤦🏽‍♂️