tobias fünke (@slamantha) header
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| 🏳️‍🌈🇺🇸🇩🇪 | fuck ice | capitalism is vile | free Palestine

Chicago, IL
Joined March 2011
Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)Photo by tobias fünke (@slamantha)
We’re gonna see bird species flying overhead tomorrow that we classified extinct during the Regan presidency of the Screen Actors Guild
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This is soooooooooooooooooo fucking embarrassing lmao
Like Rep. Stansbury, I was stuck behind the same police escort blocking the Capitol when Republicans closed the vote. I would have voted no and believe strongly that Pete Hegseth should be impeached.
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
415 members voted on the motion. Reporting indicates the police-escorted bus incident occurred 3.9 miles from the Capitol with no blockage preventing access to the building. The schedule was known since November 9. clerk.house.gov/FloorSummary/V… hindustantimes.com/world-news/us-… npr.org/2026/11/11/nx-…
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tobias fünke retweeted
Incoming Rep. Don Leonard says top House Democrats have threatened to “make [his] life a living hell” and cost him re-election if he continues attaching conditions to his support for Hakeem Jeffries for speaker. His conditions: 1) a vote on an amendment to end Citizens United and 2) “end U.S. support for the war in Iran and the country, Israel, that led us into it.” He says Jeffries is refusing to meet with him and the threats are like something “out of a movie.”
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tobias fünke retweeted
A group of Israeli settlers have seized eight Palestinian homes on Wednesday in Jericho, located in the occupied West Bank.  Palestinian sources reported that the settlers, accompanied by their families, stormed the eight homes, which were empty at the time of the raid
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tobias fünke retweeted
WOKE 3.0 IS NOW
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Pov: it’s 2027. The bears won the super bowl. The white sox won the world series. Dems flipped the midterms. The portal to hell that the Cubs unleashed onto the world in 2016 is finally closing.
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Got these Sun-Times notifications 18 minutes apart
Obama won them elections so fast niggas could hit the club and celebrate
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tobias fünke retweeted
Today’s the day. This is why we scroll.
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Ratioed by 1 million people… JD is locked in the observatory bathroom blasting Mazzy Star and slitting his wrists horizontally
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I can’t believe no one else but me thought this was funny
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On my medium screen doing payroll, on my small screen scrolling Election Eve discourse, surrounded by 6 big screens and 50 other Bears fans on Cleo’s patio indulging in this W. Had a bacon jam burger. On my 4th crispy Miller Lite. This is the type of shit Shakespeare wrote about
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Excited to vote in Chicago, Illinois and add to the blue tsunami:
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Surely I’m aiding in surveillance software when I confirm a lane closure or pig up ahead on Google Maps but getting a notif thanking me for helping 500+ drivers today feels righteous as fuck like Paul Revere must have felt like God
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tobias fünke retweeted
This should be the largest story in the news. It should be everywhere in the media. Kushner should wind up in prison because of it. But you won’t hear about it and nothing will happen to him.
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tobias fünke retweeted
There is something deeply wrong with a political system that allows one trillionaire to buy his own personal U.S. Senator.
There is something deeply wrong with Talarico
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Come and play with us.
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Considering making a hinge profile for the first time in my life to ask people to send me Marriott Bonvoy points
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Someone just liked this post. Have to assume they went to my profile and searched “tits”. Adore
Tits. Out. For. The. Boys. Tits out for the boyzzzzz
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It’s that time of the month when I need to take this monologue personally
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