Matt (@sliceofmatt) header
Matt (@sliceofmatt) profile picture

matt

Cape Town
Joined October 2011
Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)Photo by Matt (@sliceofmatt)
respect this mother
1,977
13,839
13,306
165,787
Different types of animal poop and what they mean: 7. Apeshit = angry 6. Batshit = unhinged 5. Bullshit = lies (or unfair) 4. Horseshit = bigger lies (or totally unfair) 3. Chickenshit = cowardly 2. Dogshit = low quality 1. Catshit = what you do when someone throws a ball at you
76
1,153
106
5,534
Matt retweeted
If anyone ever needs you to explain the difference between Americans and Brits, just send them this.
1,135
16,976
3,191
135,946
Pro tip: if you have a student’s mother email you for a grade change have your mother respond to it. Fight 🔥 with 🔥
530
5,852
978
113,302
I’m not going to tell anyone if I win the lotto, but there will be signs.
17
189
29
1,236
Can we nip this communicating via voice note thing in the bud please? Hold on - I have to stop everything and listen to someone’s pre amble monologue without the opportunity to interrupt and move them towards a point.
6
3
1
81
I don't know who needs this information, but please do share, far and wide. Helen Joseph Hospital has a world class psychiatric unit. The doctors are well trained, organized and empathetic. If you are working, your consultation fee is R75 per visit. If you're unemployed,
32
2,871
68
2,847
You are somebody's type! From the 8 different blood types, we need all of them to help save lives. Visit wcbs.org.za to find a blood drive near you.
8
1
11
Commit to 2022 by donating blood at least 4 times this year! Every blood donor will have the opportunity to choose between a portable charcoal braai or a branded WCBS chair (while stocks last). Visit wcbs.org.za/blood-donation to find your nearest blood donation clinic.
4
8
“Latifi... VERSTAPPPEENNN...”
64
2,003
120
17,311
These words should be heard far and wide….
214
5,968
437
11,355
*Everyone liked this*
Good morning, happy to confirm that supporting transgender people does not delay trains. ^Angus
30
4,388
42
39,252
it’s crazy that they only figured out tectonic plates in the 60s. a child in the 50s would say “it seems like south america and africa would fit together” and his mom would go “that’s cute honey would you like a cigarette”
175
15,366
374
155,034
Ohhhh sorry I thought EOD meant End of December my bad. Sending now
32
2,549
305
9,610
I could’ve told her that.
854
16,020
1,508
194,660
Wise words from Julian Montoya 'Hey, don't be p**s 😂
22
46
28
256
Attention: Min @GwedeMantashe1 (Gweezy) FOR YOUR EYES ONLY. Latest marketing ad for our fossil fuel friends.😉 I know tech isn't your thing but please keep this confidential? Watch the full video here: youtu.be/R1GT1_L1P0E #UprootTheDMRE #UprootTheSystem
23
162
51
271
Your brasse will pour your a sterk dop just to wys you "how sterk was that dop I skinked you man"
7
24
6
225
Weird way to do subtitles for the Formula 1 race.
519
26,039
1,100
171,044
[on the phone dropping hints that I wanna go out with the fellas loud enough so the wife can hear] oh your coupon expires tomorrow huh
2
94
1
1,151