jffrythmpsn

Exhibition basketball doesn’t count. This is an important rule with only one exception which involves Louisville winning. Officially, Louisville is still 0-0. Emotionally I am feeling very national championship-y and marked April 5th as unavailable on my calendar this morning.

Square pizza, milk, and Bloodsport. I’m eight again, but with worse knees.

PONY DOWN /// @LouisvilleFB

KIENHOLZ -> MCCOY

I don’t trust anyone from Nashville that never saw Apollo Up! at The Springwater.

My dependency in chocolate milk has become increasingly catalytic converter adjacent.

The founder of Kentucky Sports Radio condemning the monetization of college basketball would be a fascinating argument if it weren’t immediately followed by a word from his sponsors.

The Titans opened the season by kicking the ball out of bounds, which is the fastest possible way to admit you’re not ready. #NYJvsTEN

Trump finally found the one thing that could turn the entire country against him. Interrupting college football to pimp crypto.

Picking up my kids from school and just wondering if a contractor was still waiting to get paid for installing the doors at Jurassic Park.

Sitting in a drive-thru and wondering if anyone in Cast Away had already started using Tom Hanks’ office supplies.

College football people understand that time is a human construct, especially when Michigan needs one more play.

Drafted my 1998 sleepover. How’d I do? QB - GoldenEye RB1 - Pizza Rolls RB2 - Surge WR1 - WCW/NWO Revenge WR2 - The Waterboy TE - USA Up All Night once the adults were asleep FLEX - The scrambled porn channel K - Surge again DEF - Somebody’s mom yelling “GO TO BED”

Eating roast and potatoes and wondering if anyone on the Death Star had just started their first day.

Me every time I login to HBO MAX.

Most of sports fandom is just finding new ways to pretend your emotional instability is actually loyalty.

LSU is going to win the national championship. They murdered Clemson, immediately got threatened with removal from the SEC, and now control the entire news cycle. We merely adopted college football. LSU was born in it.

The SEC should kick LSU out. Not because it’s fair. Not because it makes sense. Just because conferences used to do things for the Vine.

I am listening to Sippin on Some Syrup and eating hummus, which is exactly how a 41 year old white man joins the Hypnotize Minds family.

Nothing more Louisville football than spending an hour saying “we might be in trouble” and then one touchdown later googling the College Football Playoff schedule.