I'm a satirist, a humorist, and the world's funniest redfish. I write for the https://teapawt.net/t.co/YzOksGDnOw & The https://teapawt.net/t.co/YsJb6MCDCQ. Follow me, I follow back.
California, USA
Joined March 2018
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Bay Area couple buys a Gold Rush Victorian "with character." The town historian shows up at the housewarming with the ledger. Eight bedrooms, eight brass numbers, one interesting past. #Satire #California #RealEstate
broadstreetbeacon.com/county… The listing now describes the porch light as "original."
The best gun dealer in a conservative California town is a drag queen. The church men's group booked her concealed carry class as a women's quilting circle. One of them signed in as "Pat." #Satire #2A #California #GunTok
broadstreetbeacon.com/drag-q…
The church office says it is still praying on the sign.
broadstreetbeacon.com/chatgp…
The Lottery reminds players that Quick Pick remains available at every terminal.
A man cutting across a California middle school field to catch the Raiders kickoff found a World War II destroyer parked on the grass. By Monday the district had reseeded a 306-foot strip and called it gopher damage. #Satire #WWII #Conspiracy
broadstreetbeacon.com/world-…
The district also reminds residents that dogs are not permitted on school grounds.
I sent our reporter ghost hunting in an 1856 Gold Rush hotel with a transistor radio and a 20mg edible. He made it four steps into the restaurant before a waiter said "Thad. No." His spirit box made contact once. It was the traffic report. #Satire #Haunted #GhostHunting
broadstreetbeacon.com/is-the…
The waiter wasn't mean about it. He was very firm.
Your mom told you not to lick the 9-volt battery. She said nothing about the other 118 things on the periodic table.
All 118 elements, rated by lickability.
#Satire #Science #Chemistry #PeriodicTable #STEM #Funny
Pick an element and find out what happened to the person who licked it: fazzler.com/can-i-lick-it-a-…
Decision desk calls it: Hasan Piker defeats Trump by 22. Neither man was on a ballot. White House demands recount of all 50 states that didn't list him. #Satire #Midterms2026 #ElectionNight #Trump #HasanPiker
Archaeologists tore up a California CVS parking lot with an excavator and found another CVS underneath it, from the 1920s. CVS paid for the dig. The lead archaeologist says chain stores are native to the area and grow back on their own. #Satire #CVS #Archaeology #AncientAliens
broadstreetbeacon.com/nevada…
The guy who's been coming in stoned for thirty years says the only real change is the Gatorade.
Guy in a Julia Child costume read ONE headline, skipped the article, dried the beef with a hair dryer and still put 7 neighbors in the ER. The pearls were in the first paragraph. #Satire #JuliaChild #FoodNetwork #DinnerParty #Cooking #California
broadstreetbeacon.com/second…
Up here it's usually a Jerry Garcia, and it's usually the beard.
