Shari

@mastersau How can you sell a "chipotle" plant? Chipotles are smoked jalapenos. Like selling an orange tree and calling it a marmalade bush.

I now insist that you all cryptically refer to me as "one of the backers." Elevenses @Kickstarter kck.st/1cDrnV2

Write several passionate posts about genealogists with no clue how to use DNA results. Never actually post. Too annoyed/sad. Tweet instead?

Disappointed to learn that @SteveMartinToGo doesn't favour the Oxford comma. bit.ly/WUTAgz

@Mumper If we used a Flawless Critter Battle-stone to make our Red Cricket rare, will we get the FCBS refunded? :(

I just realized that, thanks to my childhood ice cream van, I'm already rolling in hipster food truck cred. Strawberry shortcake bars 4ever!

We need a long German word for the pleasure that comes when your different social groups mix together in the comments of your FB status.

Relishing #mefi thread about #nbcfail. Ah, like minds! (Helps drown out whining about world news giving 'spoilers.') bit.ly/PXd2JE

Oops, I made the logo go the wrong way. #MasterChefAU

Absolute BS that Deb isn't up for elimination. Bad luck happens. Injury shouldn't keep you safe - what a dangerous precedent. #masterchefau

Dinner at Thomas Keller's Bouchon bit.ly/KELtD9

Here's to putting or just leaving dishes in the dishwasher for an extra spin instead of putting them away.

If I had Roger and Peggy action figures, bad, bad things would happen. Spending too much time imagining a vinyl Madison Avenue playset.

Week two of the #Wilton course and I'm actually sick of cake. I just threw an entire German chocolate into the trash. I'M A MONSTER.

Why are people still timestamp-watermarking their photos? We need an EXIF outreach program for technophobes.

I'm just never going to get the hang of sleeping normal hours, am I? I'm 42 - I think it would've happened by now.

This is the tweetface I make after finally clicking on one of the many "Reset your Twitter password" emails I've requested in recent months.