I swear the War Zone yellow pages ad in #StrangerThings is @SeanAstin from #ToySoldier.

Bought #USPS stamps from lastweektonight and took the iamjohnoliver picture at the top of the sheet and put it on my olive oil. I will have to say, I’m not disappointed. #johnoliveoil #laststamptonight #andnowastamp instagram.com/p/CE2dlfTpxrg/…

If I could dig up George Hudson (inventor of the modern Daylight Savings Time) and punch him in the throat, I would. #DaylightSavingTime

"It is awesome that #theweeknd got #neilgaiman to play the piano for him." #myhusband watching #GRAMMYs

"What is with #theweeknd 's hair? It's like #JanelleMonáe had sex with a poodle." #myhusband watching the #GRAMMYs

I asked my husband if that was Suge Knight. I guess it was. xitter.cf/jimmykimmel/status/696…

They both had a hand on a ball. #SuperBowl #challenge

I have a thigh gap. There is a gap between what I think my thighs should look like and what they actually do. #thighgap

@KonshusKneeGrow sorry that it has taken me so long to respond! I rarely look at Twitter. What can I help you with?

So exited for the Grand Opening of Oscar de la Renta. This look was worn by Beyoncé. #SCADFASH… instagram.com/p/8YZGVkPdK4/ – at Atlanta, GA

My husband caught a t-shirt at tonight's game. I may have cowered away from it as it came hurtling to… instagram.com/p/6bAJxQvdNc/ – at Atlanta, GA

Thank you to the #AtlantaHistoryCenter for yesterday's awesome tour of the archives. So amazing to… instagram.com/p/6Tag5zvdNT/ – at Atlanta, GA

They should have said "Three, two, one, Hasselhoff" when they launched. #Sharknado3

Lucas: Tis only a flesh wound! #Sharknado3

There are no sharks in fognado. Shouldn't it be fogshark or sharkfog? #Sharknado3

So far I've realized two things: 1. I only tweet during #Sharknado movies and I keep saying Oh, hey! It's that guy! #Sharknado3

#Bakersfieldnashville #giuseppeisamazing instagram.com/p/3jgnQEvdHc/