Erik Watkins

For the MAGA shidiots in the back… some facts: No, Trump didn’t “get” Greenland. Denmark didn’t “give” us Greenland. We’re never going to “have” Greenland, much like how we don’t “have” Venezuela or “have” control over the Strait of Hormuz. He didn’t “solve inflation” and the war he started 8 months ago, that isn’t a war, isn’t “won”. Gas prices aren’t lower than they were when Biden left office and neither is diesel. We’re not the “hottest country” in the world. This isn’t the “Golden Age”. We aren’t “respected again”. We are a global laughing stock, and at this point most people in other countries just want to know if we’re ok. Affordability isn’t a “hoax”, data centers aren’t popular, vaccines and Tylenol don’t “cause” autism and the Epstein files, much like the creepy ass birthday card Trump sent his best friend Jeff, are very, very real. It’s still Lake Ontario, it’s still the Gulf of Mexico, and it’s still very fucking much, called AI. He doesn’t have a “healthcare plan”, you’re not getting your Doge check, your tariff check or your $5,000. The ballroom you’ll never see and the golf course you’ll never use aren’t “free”. The reflecting pool wasn’t “vandalized”, January 6th wasn’t “peaceful”, and the 2020 election wasn’t “stolen”. No one is changing your child’s gender at school, no one is eating your cats or your dogs, and no one is coming here from Africa or anywhere else for that matter, to steal your shitty minimum wage job. Mexico and Canada aren’t our enemies, and Russia and China are not our friends. Losing your Medicaid, your SNAP, and your healthcare plan isn’t “winning” and it sure as shit doesn’t “own the Libs”. The word “dumb” has always had a B in it, and the word “incumbent” has nothing to do with something you might have worn to your prom. Now, I know that facts are about as useful to you as a cousin-less dating pool, a sheep that’s not in the mood, and a book with no pictures, but that doesn’t make them any less true. You’re poorer, sicker and less safe than you were 2 years ago. Trump didn’t make America “great” again, he’s actively destroying it, while lining his own pockets, and the pockets of the Epstein class at the very same time. Now I know that he still hates who you hate, and maybe that really is enough, but the truth is that he lied to you about everything else. He lied about lowering prices, lied to you about no new foreign wars and lied about accountability for pedophiles. And I’m sure you stopped reading when you met the first word with more than two syllables, but in the event that you’re still here, all I want, all I ask, is that you sit this one out. If you’re not going to vote to stop him, then don’t vote at all. Stay home and brush your tooth. Let the grownups with still firing synapses handle this one. I think we can all agree that you’ve done more than enough.