girlfriend said "I love you but I'm busy" and she's just googling Russell Crowe

I'm reading Schreber's Memoirs of a Nervous Illness and at a certain point he basically says "no poison can kill me, but no I'm obviously not going to take lethal poison just to prove a point, even though it wouldn't kill me it would hurt."

so many people hate how good the Sixers look right now

now that's what I like to see

for the conversation you never had with your dad

the disintegration of youth subcultures into individuated styles has resulted in me being at the YHWH Nailgun show and feeling like I'm in a real world version of Fortnite

we spent the entire movie thinking it actually was Warren Zevon

sneaking as many James Bond theme songs onto the wedding playlist as I can without @generalslug noticing

pitch perfect joke

all the best movies are about homoerotic sailors, Catholics being tortured, or both

tgif

if anyone ever tries to talk to me with one of these I'm dousing them in battery acid

strip them of the chip