SteLyons (@stelyons) header
SteLyons (@stelyons) profile picture

SteLyons

@stelyons

Comedian Akl/Chi. Creator of Paper Goat, co-host of @illbebackpod & The Dice Show Nz. TV writer, warm up for 7 Days & The Project. Big hugs 😍

 Auckland, New Zealand
comedyfestival.co.nz/find-a-show/josiah-steven-joyous-comedy-hour-for-your-smile-faces/
Joined November 2010
  • Tweets12K
  • Following532
  • Followers715
Two questions: 1) Do you like suspense?
1
1
14
I used to love tweeting and interacting with people on this platform. Even before it got musky I had dropped off from the interacting side of it. At some point I think I lost the understanding of how to interact with people, sorry that might be a broader note.
1
110
I take drugs every day to help my brain work more like normal people's brains, I don't like it but it is required to exist with normal people. #ADHD
71
Catching a bus in Auckland is like having an Auckland coffee catch up - just because one is scheduled doesnt mean it's happening.
1
1
87
What I'm saying is my bus never showed up.
55
So, umm, Dame Edna passing was the reason Australia rewrote their Nz immigration rules?! Stuff's cartoons are delightful abstract and specific all at once.
Image from SteLyons (@stelyons)
99
If this wasn't a glitch I'd be giving #MarvelSnap full points for meta joy.
Image from SteLyons (@stelyons)
1
110
Bed Bath & Beyond has filed for bankruptcy - has found buyers for the Bed and Bath section but the rest is Beyojd saving.
95
I love the level of CBF capitalism Auckland housing has gotten to. When you know people need something you can treat them however you want.
Image from SteLyons (@stelyons)
Image from SteLyons (@stelyons)
62
As if my tweets haven't conveyed this - I am old now.
48
I lived in Chicago 7 years, talked to the police once. I've lived in Auckland 7 years and: Car stolen x2, house broken into, car hit & run, and a bunch of shitty small stuff too. People are hurting, then hurting other people and I really don't know how it gets fixed.
1
143
I should be so happy with my life right now, work is happening, goals are becoming milestones and it's the first time in a long while I'm looking up toward the future. But housing.
1
102
A nice pair of jeans, that's the best butt housing if you ask me.
1
43
A guy I know tried to launch the world's biggest rocket on #420day. It went up in smoke and didn't even get as high as he wanted.
2
61
In New Zealand I celebrate 4/20 on 4/21 because that's the timezone progressive enough to legalized it.
2
62
So @RNZ requires a disclaimer that they are partially funded by the government but 1 News is out here like:
Image from SteLyons (@stelyons)
1
59
SteLyons retweeted
SteLyons (@stelyons) profile picture
SteLyons@stelyons14 Apr 2023
Oh yeah, well I WON'T believe it's not butter.
1
72
My friends are getting married, getting houses, getting kids. I'm getting reflux.
48
B2B is when one persons business touches another persons business. #MakeCapitalismSexy
40
My bus has no AC - so I'm sitting in a musky 30c bus but at least we don't have any airborne plague rolling around…
47
Tupperware is no longer selling in Nz because who can afford leftovers right now!?! Heck, I’ve been grating my old tupperware into meals just to bulk them out. nzherald.co.nz/business/afte…
41
Load more