@thenatewolf

1/3 of @nafmcpodcast

 Canada
Joined August 2012
  • Tweets1.6K
  • Following880
  • Followers72.3K
178Media
Me: Imagine if every tear was an egg and every time you started crying there was 10-50 broken eggs on you. You leave a funeral and it’s like “crunch crunch crunch” (if the person was beloved). Genie: That's your wish? Me: No, we're just talking. Just being Friends right now.
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I love how the garbage can clings to the bag when you try to pull it out. I love romance.
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All the worms at the park start slithering towards me at the same time. I shake my head. They stop. I'm on a first date, and she's not ready to know about that part of my life yet.
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I’ve been spilling on myself for long enough to consider it an immutable characteristic.
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I got them to include in the contract that I’m allowed to be silly. I can pretend to be a mummy and stuff as long as I hit my numbers.
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My gf (658 mermaid) has been talking to her ex (473 Greenland shark) and he is threatening to bite and chew my legs (28-inch inseam)
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Calling Spider-Man “spidey” too early in the relationship. He slaps me and webs me.
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Made a new scraptraption. It’s a contraption made of scraps.
An old folding table on a platform with wheels. A thickness planer is attached to the table, and an extended bed is built out with old shelving.

ALT An old folding table on a platform with wheels. A thickness planer is attached to the table, and an extended bed is built out with old shelving.

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Don’t say “eat my dust” unless you got the foot torque to kick some dust into my mouth during your getaway. My spit better be grey for at least three spits.
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My wife, sensing I'm about to pull out my harmonica, gently places her hand on my thigh to let me know it's an inappropriate time. We are an incredible team.
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Crown soaked in blood but still worth it (unlimited wine)
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Calling women "bro" (so they don't fall in love)
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I learned how to sharpen my hand plane and it’s going to be very difficult for anyone to neutralize my ego moving forward.
An extremely sharp hand plane pulling a delicate ribbon of wood from a board of rough lumber.

ALT An extremely sharp hand plane pulling a delicate ribbon of wood from a board of rough lumber.

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Dropped a screw under my workbench and I reached down to grab it but pulled up a different screw. Droppelgänger.
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A wispy puff blooms from the top of the vessel as he opens it. It is Tums dust.
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My sister knew how to do something on the thermostat that I didn't know so I've started calling her "The Hacker" and "Microchip"
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Tried to buy some bread and the store lady wouldn't let me. Said I "didn't seem that hungry". I didn't seem "excited enough" about the bread. Came back the next day with a big smile on my face. Guy at the register wouldn't sell it to me. Said I looked too excited about the bread.
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My calculator history leaking would be 1000x more humiliating than my browser history.
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Made the hedge maze extra hard this year. Hope the lord of the manor dies in there.
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Built this bulkhead with nothing but scraps and a dream in my heart
A questionable bulkhead made to hide furnace pipes.

ALT A questionable bulkhead made to hide furnace pipes.

The bulkhead covered in panelling. It looks much better. Nobody knows the secrets inside.

ALT The bulkhead covered in panelling. It looks much better. Nobody knows the secrets inside.

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I let my grass keep the dew this morning, but I might suckle on the blades tomorrow. My house, my rules.
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