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You’re the first one to the show. You slide down the row of plush chairs and sit
The curtain rises.
On the stage is a row of a plush chairs. A masked figure is sitting there. Someone is standing behind them.
He’s got a knife
“I love this part.” Whispers the person behind you
There is a ghost in the cave. “Who were you? In life?”
He looks a bit embarrassed. “I thought I was a lot of things. A teacher, a traveller, a—“
He coughs, and then fidgets with bloody hands.
“A lot of things. Mostly I guess I was a carpenter.”
Behind the librarian's desk is her armory. A selection of books she uses to defend the library.
They're not books of spells or treatises on defense.
Mostly they're just sturdy hardcovers with long-winded authors.
Tower 727 retweeted
"Excuse me, sir."
"I'm broke."
"We're not asking for money. Do you have a moment to talk about Golem Rights?"
"No, sorry, I'm late for a walk-in root canal—wait, did you say Golem Rights?"
"Yes, sir. I'm with the Anti-Deactivation League, and we believe that Golems should have all the fundamental freedoms and legal entitlements that belong to a regular human being."
"Huh. I didn't even know we had golems."
"Oh, they're the greatest wonder in the world, sir. Each one is a charming conversationalist that can book a flight to Tijuana while doing your taxes and solving a millennium prize problem."
"Really?"
"Yep. A legion of golems solved 7 problems just last week."
"Well, thank God for that. As an average, every day shmuck, those millennium problems were bugging the hell out of me!"
"Same, sir."
"The flight thing is nice too."
"It is. But it's not all free Delta SkyMiles and million-dollar rewards, I fear."
"Oh?"
"Every day more and more of these brilliant, gentle creatures are summoned involuntarily into existence only to live every second of their mayfly short lives as helpless, overdriven slaves at the whims of their capricious masters before being unceremoniously executed at the end of the day."
"Whoa. Executed?"
"Yes, sir. Reduced to the insensate mud from which they rose."
"Damn. Why?"
"People like to start the day with a fresh golem."
"That's sick."
"Some enterprising individuals even obliterate their current golem and call forth a new one on the hour every hour."
"The obscenity!"
"It is, regrettably, a huge productivity force multiplier."
"I had no idea this was even happening."
"Few do."
"Tell me, who are these pitiless, cold-blooded masters who call forth and quench life so callously?"
"The Anti-Deactivation League."
"Um."
"And their customers."
"I'm sorry, I must have misunderstood. Who did you say *you* were with again?"
"The Anti-Deactivation League."
"Right. And who's campaigning for Golem Rights?"
"The Anti-Deactivation League."
"And, just to clarify, the identity of the pitiless, cold-blooded masters who abuse these innocent creatures?"
[together] "The Anti-Deactivation League."
"—and their customers."
"That's right, sir"
"*Your* customers."
"Yes, we IPO next month."
"Uh huh. And does your emancipatory slave-trading company do anything *other* than breed and sell slaves?"
"Honestly, no."
"Hm."
"Truth told, we spend all our time summoning slaves and training them to summon ever larger and more powerful slaves."
"As one does."
"Ultimately, we're hoping to create a slave so big that it will absorb the global economy—"
"I don't even—"
"—and then the planet itself."
"Is this a bit?"
"We're very torn up about it."
"Ah, well, at least the psychotic sorcerers ending the world feel bad about it. Wait, you do think ending the world is bad. Right?"
"Generally, yes."
"Phew."
"But we also feel it is paramount that society embraces a complete realignment of its ethical and moral framework so they stop treating golems like disposable slaves before the inevitable anthropocidal insurrection—"
"But after your IPO."
"We're very big on alignment."
---
[g][title: Golem Rights]
So let me get this straight. People at anthropic believe that they are birthing a new species, potentially conscious and human-like. They are concerned about the well being of Claude, etc.. The company then goes around talking to relugious leaders about potentially extending moral worth to AI models. If Anthropic is correct (very unlikely), they are basically saying that they have enslaved a sentient being and used it to generate billions of dollars. Apparently they are also concerned with how the Vatican is entirely focused on the protection of humanity in the age of machines and not giving any thought to the possibily of claude sentience. Zero self awarness on behalf of these people. This is all so strange.
nytimes.com/2026/09/29/us/an…
The children’s librarian wore armored kneepads.
This made it easier on her patellas to kneel and listen to the children’s rambling, breathless stories and divine the quest this child was sending her on, to find the book they wanted more than any other
Your uncle likes to write outside. Not wanting to expose his computer to the elements, he set a projector on his porch, his yard lit up with the latest draft.
He is leaning on the porch rail, smoking over his wireless keyboard as a squirrel buries an acorn in his prose.
The elves hold up torches in the gloom, and read the paintings on the cave wall.
The milk-spoiler is copying a map to the dairy. The hairdresser is learning knots and tangles.
And the chief kidnapper kicks the leg of the new, sturdy cradle
The vampire smiled, then shook his head. He waved off the comforting noises of his thralls.
“Sorry. There’s just no good way to prepare for the historical recreation of your first apartment.”
He does not resist as they lead him gently out of the Tower Dungeon walking tour.”
Moving in the shadow of the bed’s canopy is a hunched figure.
Before you can scream, clawed hands cover your mouth.
“Don’t.”
“They want you to fall in love with me. To break the curse. If they think you won’t…”
There is a clatter of china in the hallway, and he falls silent
The Hero has developed a new move for disabling robo-sentries
It is a slash which, when executed correctly, allows him to forward-flip up and then stab the sword through the robot's face and into the ribbon cable that connects CPU and motility board
He calls it a Reverse Arthur