Jacob Evans (@vumpire) header
Jacob Evans (@vumpire) profile picture

Cheerful in all weathers. Never shirked a task.

Shreveport, LA
Joined June 2009
Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)Photo by Jacob Evans (@vumpire)
There's too much focus on coke-addict Stephen King and not enough focus on Stephen King being a dude who'd crush ten or twelve cans of Black Label and drive around rural Maine listening to Bob Seger
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You can tell who's a real country boy and who's not by whether or not they're confused by the epilogue of Blood Meridian, which describes somebody using a post-hole digger
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Back in '85 my uncle got hit by a piece of the ZZ Top Afterburner shuttle after it broke up in the skies above Beaumont.
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People love to say "I would kill for [thing] to happen," but that's so wishy-washy. Better to say "I WILL kill for [thing] to happen." Shows you mean business.
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Chet Hanks is what happens when forcing your kid to listen to the Beatles too much backfires.
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Currently hard at work on an alternate-timeline story in which it is revealed Sergeant Snorkel is a direct descendant of Hagar the Horrible.
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Wild how ladykiller is what you call someone who's really good with women and also what you call someone who's really bad with them
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And I heard, as it were the noise of thunder, one of the four beasts saying, Come and see. And I saw, and behold a pale horse: and his name that sat on him was Death, and Hell followed with him.
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On the Burger King app, one of the customization choices is "hot off the broiler." It feels like a bad sign a restaurant considers "fresh"to be a cool option.
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Not gonna lie, it's been kind of a grim grind at the hacienda for...some time now, but I had a moment the other day in the car of pure optimism listening to this Doc Watson tune, which is awesome and makes you feel like you could run through a wall youtu.be/UuM1pePl6II?si=S4lp…
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This is a haiku
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Got in the car earlier and realized I didn't have a lighter. I was beside myself with grief. Then I drove about ten feet and saw a (working) lighter lying in the road. Very rarely do you see the Hand of the Divine at work like this
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An 80 billion dollar net's gotta be huge. How do you lose a thing like that
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Nu-Metal Stephen King circa 2002
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Amazing how much this looks like Jandek
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I still miss Jason Molina
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just woke up from a dream filled with melodramatic longing; what the hell can you do with that
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Never was a man more appropriately named
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