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TASmith (@wherestrist) profile picture

TASmith

@wherestrist

My name is Tristan A. Smith. I'm a stand-up comedian, writer, producer, and actor. If you're following me you probably know this.

 Chicago IL
wherestrist.com
Joined March 2014
  • Tweets9.5K
  • Following901
  • Followers906
1.3KMedia
Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)Photo by TASmith (@wherestrist)
[Whenever I see a hot lady] Me: She could GET it. [Realizing I'm terrified at the mere thought of intimacy.] Me (cont'd): I don't know WHERE she's gonna get it but I wish her well on her journey.
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I feel like I can either work one day a week and use the other days for recuperation, or I can work 5 days a week but you gotta give me drugs or massages to balance out the toll on my body. #ConfessionalMondays
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Do you need a CFO?
Becca O'Neal 🍒 (@becca_oneal) profile pictureBecca O'Neal 🍒@becca_oneal7h
you're right. i can do it. send me the money.
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First time I’ve ever gotten to use this GIF
Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) profile pictureDov Kleiman
@NFL_DovKleimanOct 29
𝗧𝗥𝗘𝗡𝗗𝗜𝗡𝗚: Giants TE Thomas Fidone has a side hustle as a tattoo artist in his free time during the season. Some of these tattoos are extremely impressive.
Image from Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman)
Image from Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman)
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Recorded with my DJI @KevOnStage
Kevín (@KevOnStage) profile pictureKevín
@KevOnStageOct 30
Now what about what I said warranted this response?
Image from Kevín (@KevOnStage)
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“You already made that joke” Yeah no shit you think Tom Petty played Free Falling just once?
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it’s “cast,” not “casted.” it’s “cost,” not “costed.” they are irregular verbs. please, people, this was not an issue six years ago. i am begging you to realize that you are being systematically dumbed down.
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I’ve been sick for the last week because my body decided to punish me for having fun and the weather decided to punish me for being outside. #ConfessionalMondays
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Made some really wise investments for the future today. Unfortunately, they were primarily for the characters in Grand Theft Auto V. #ConfessionalMondays
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For sale: mechanical bird, not for sale
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Damn, Hulk ain’t seen his son in 4 years???
Daily Tatiana Maslany (@SestraHulk) profile pictureDaily Tatiana Maslany@SestraHulkOct 13
The finale of She-Hulk: Attorney at Law premiered 4 years ago today! 💚
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Fan Mail.
A screenshot of a message from someone telling me to move around less on stage.

ALT A screenshot of a message from someone telling me to move around less on stage.

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I don’t just add to discourse. If you want to see me do stand-up, go to wherestrist.com Next show: 10/11 | 7:00 pm | Hee-Haw See-Saw I The Playground Theater
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At the age now where I can hurt my back by sitting down wrong. But young enough to still be able to fix it by lying down correctly. #ConfessionalMondays
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TASmith retweeted
zellie (@zellieimani) profile picture
zellie@zellieimaniOct 12
Reminder
Image from zellie (@zellieimani)
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ABSOLUTELY thought this was about Aaron Pierre when I read it. But it’s worth checking the comments to see who it’s REALLY about.
L ♡⊹˚₊ (@glovedollxo) profile pictureL ♡⊹˚₊@glovedollxoOct 6
Fine ass nigga with a whole lotta money and a big ass dick and he the most famous nigga in the world. Y’all think he ain’t have no bitches!?????
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I never thought I’d watch a ten minute clip of Family Feud, but this shit was too absurd to stop watching.
Ichigo Niggasake (@SomaKazima2) profile pictureIchigo Niggasake
@SomaKazima2Oct 5
I hated this episode so bad, I would've kicked her off 😭😭😭
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Lanterns is a story about a man coming to see that fear isn't failure, and any attempt to excise it diminishes him, submits him to others' wills, and prevents him from self-actualizing. It's not a story about how a guy gets a magic ring that lets him shoot lasers at bad guys.
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The only show I’d rate above it is Watchmen.
Siddhant Adlakha (@SiddhantAdlakha) profile pictureSiddhant Adlakha@SiddhantAdlakhaOct 5
Lanterns Finale Recap: In Brightest Day Is this the best superhero show? Pretty handily. It’s also one of the best things on TV right now, period, with some of the most wrenching, introspective drama you’re likely to find. A pretty stunning adaptation. vulture.com/article/lanterns…
Lanterns Season-Finale Recap: In Brightest Day

Lanterns Season-Finale Recap: In Brightest Day

An emotional finale full of deep introspection and difficult truths caps off a strong entry into the superhero TV canon.

vulture.com
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Glad I avoided whatever horror movie might’ve been waiting for me when I took out today’s trash. #ConfessionalMondays
Image from TASmith (@wherestrist)
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