Given the opportunity, I would destroy David Schwimmer in a bread pudding eating contest.
Minneapolis, MN
Joined September 2011
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What if I told you that there's a place called Schrödinger's Bakery where you can have your cake and eat it, too?
My Own Worst Nightmare retweeted
I once broke up with someone for using the euphemism "make love," so you'd better watch your fucking mouth.
My Own Worst Nightmare retweeted
Though scientifically unprovable, it is spiritually irrefutable that chocolate pudding from a salad bar is superior to all other chocolate pudding.
I once broke up with someone for using the euphemism "make love," so you'd better watch your fucking mouth.
Though scientifically unprovable, it is spiritually irrefutable that chocolate pudding from a salad bar is superior to all other chocolate pudding.
My Own Worst Nightmare retweeted
It has suddenly become imperative—though alas, impossible—for me to hear Lucia Berlin say "macadam."
It has suddenly become imperative—though alas, impossible—for me to hear Lucia Berlin say "macadam."
If I had to guess, the best part of being a sommelier would be reenacting "The Cask of Amontillado" with all of your clients.
My default excuse for cancelling plans is "I am fighting a battle you know nothing about."
No one has ever asked me to elaborate.
I have an unshakable feeling that an adult coloring book revival is imminent.
Don't say I didn't warn you.
