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In the old days MySpace would play a song of your choice when people looked at your profile. I ask you listen to this whilst scrolling. youtu.be/47xwSr95RTY

.@RoyalMail where is my parcel? “Attempted” delivery Monday. No card through door. “Automatic delivery for next day” no update on the Tuesday. Arrange for Friday delivery on Wednesday. Still no parcel or update. You have one job.

Does @realDonaldTrump have any actual policies? I just hear him bad mouthing and telling people to remember when they felt well off. I don’t get it.

Why are people afraid of being arrested for tweeting? Surely you’ve nothing to worry about. Unless you’ve made threats to life for example.

I think @Keir_Starmer would do well to explain plainly and simply how the housing of asylum seekers works and why it doesn’t affect people on council waiting lists for social housing. This seems to be the big issue. Convinced they’re not getting housed because of asylum seekers.

Some facts about @Nigel_Farage #FarageRiot #TiersOfAClown

Let’s not forget @elonmusk is from South Africa, whilst he’s backing the far right in the UK. Doesn’t take a rocket scientist.

What's the most annoying thing that can happen at work? Fucking Greg Wallace appearing behind you in a lab coat and hairnet

Take the high offer. Sick of it. #TheChase

Just once I’d love to get a full fat @CocaCola_GB when I go into @McDonaldsUK It’s wrong every time. Either zero or diet. I want sugar. I’m in a fast food restaurant. Why can’t I get the drink I pay 12p extra for. Respect to @McDonaldsUK for offering the choice unlike @KFC_UKI

It's.......... Kate Middletons account

This lady complaining about Wireless is such a Tory. #BBCLondon Jesus. I can't

Watching #TheBear on @DisneyPlus Please, stop the music. It’s not Dawson’s Creek. Ruined it. Except FYC.

#MarvelStudios Really struggling. #SecretInvasion is new series with CONSTANT SCORE FEAT EXTRA ADDED STRINGS so people can FEEL SOMETHING. a few shots of big name actors on blue screen, whilst doubles do 90 %. OH AND KEVIN FEIGE PRODUCED IT. desperate. It's #FRIENDS

.@virginmedia SUGGEST USING #INTERNETEXPLORER A BROWSER THAT HAS BEEN OBSOLETE FOR A YEAR! #KEEPUP @Microsoft

#ProfesorGreen 's take on the mental health conversation was flawless (I say as someone that suffers.) on @Channel4News cc @professorgreen

Wish @KFC_UKI sold @PepsiMaxUK PEPSI there isn’t even a #Pepsi account. FFS. This sugar thing is out of control. I just want a Pepsi with my chicken.