Rachel

if you ever needed proof that Spanish is a sexier language than English, yesterday I found out the English version of the name Antonio Banderas is Tony Flags. Just let that sink in x

@askryanair after waiting 30 minutes on hold your call assistant just hung up on me. Ryanair have cancelled my flight and I was not told how and when I can switch these flights to Ryanair alternatives. I am unable to do so online without a £225 charge. How will you fix this?

@Ryanair after waiting 30 minutes on hold, your call assistant just hung up on me. Ryanair have cancelled my flight and she did not tell me how and when I can switch these flights to Ryanair alternatives. I am unable to do so online without a £225 charge. How will you fix this?

This. A million times this.

I can't believe it's taken me 26 years of life to discover the absolute delicacy of a babybel cheese

@AskNationwide hi Nationwide, it looks like you've sent my standing orders out twice this month. Please can you fix this ASAP? It's expensive and I'd like my money back please

@AskNationwide hi Nationwide, you've sent my standing orders out twice this month. Not sure how that's happened but please could you fix it ASAP? It's expensive and I'd like my money back plz

I'm ill and can't make it to @JamesBlunt 's gig tonight in Leeds and I'm genuinely so so gutted 😭💔 been waiting for this for so long... James please take pity on me and do another Leeds date soon 😭

What's the weirdest reason you've ever got the ick? I ask 'cos today I went off a guy because he told me he owned a butterchurn.

what's the best poor-student hack you've ever heard? My favourite is the guy I met who collects McDonald's receipts with different numbers on so he can go in and try and collect orders when he's hungry 😭😂

I find it so funny when people think I have my shit together. This morning I ironed my outfit for work with a pair of hair straighteners

@ClaudiaWinkle please I just need your entire wardrobe of shoes x

last night a guy told me he was planning on proposing to his girlfriend on her birthday so the ring could class as her birthday present. The romantic in me is offended but the accountant in me is kinda impressed...

newest date horror story. went out with a doctor. let me tell u, bragging about being desensitised to suffering and death is NOT a turn on. makes me feel like u'd have no problem murdering me & disposing of my body. not a vibe. Thnx for coming to my Tedtalk, men plz do better x

today a man came over to my desk, shouted "CUCUMBER?!" very loudly and proceeded to place this homegrown masterpiece on my desk. The best part? I was on a conference call the whole time. All people saw of this exchange was the dildo shaped vegetable that took over my screen.

I've only done one week in my new job and I'm so happy and I love it so much, life is so so good right now 💛

Still available! Please send me a message if interested! #LeedsFestival #leedsfesttickets #LeedsFestivaltickets #leedsticket

Hello! I'm selling a Weekend Ticket for Leeds Fest (no camping) at face value (£215). Will transfer through Ticketmaster upon sale. Please let me know if you're interested! 💛 #Leedsfest #leedsfesttickets #LeedsFestivaltickets

@rickygervais my younger brother though THIS MAN (top right) was you 😭😭😭 Is it wrong that I kinda see what he means....