[au repost - nebula x mantis ; magician au]
nebula is a combat magician, and mantis runs a center for magical animals. one day, the two meet and an unlikely relationship blooms.
gamora: you look like you're about to pass out, sit down
nebula: i'm fine, i don't need rest. i show no signs of weakness
gamora: you had to sit for ten minutes because mantis scratched her nose
nebula: she looked like a kitten. what was i supposed to do? collapse on the spot?
peter: are you a painting
gamora:
peter: because i want to pin you against the wall
rocket: oh my god i thought you were going to say you wanted to hang her
okay,,, so,,, how is everyone after the far from home trailer? is everyone good? or in tears? or both? tell me how you feel i'm here to provide emotional counseling
hnngg might hop on that mcu family tree bandwagon later when i get home after school uwu prepare for gross selfies
i would just like to say. i am an advocate for the nebula/tony friendship thanks for coming to my tedtalk
nebula: this life is a strained and tense one. i envy the life of a smooth rock resting on the beach…warmed by the sun, unaware of the trials and tribulations of sentient life
gamora: are you okay
nebula: i wish i was a croissant
nebula: studies show that one out of seven people is gay
nebula: so that means someone on this ship is gay
nebula: i hope it's mantis, she's kind of cute
gamora: can we stop using 'butthurt' we're not twelve anymore
yondu: you sound.. asstroubled
rocket: a little bootybothered if you ask me
peter: someone's having a tushytantrum
gamora:
gamora: what the actual fuck is a tushytantrum
peter: wait, so oxygen was discovered in 1779? how did people breathe before that
tony: oh for god's sake nebula can you shoot him
gamora: interesting. the odds of that happening coincidentally are vanishingly small
nebula: i would say infinitesimally
peter: yes, and i would say teenily weenily. we all know words
mantis: say no to drugs
peter: it doesn't matter what you say to drugs
peter: if you're talking to drugs then you're taking drugs
incorrect guardians // saw endgame retweeted
RT if you made it through Avengers Endgame without getting up to pee.
nebula: tony taught me some terran games
nebula: but what if instead of “seven minutes in heaven” there was a “seven minutes in hell” and you put two people in a closet together for seven minutes and they have to beat the absolute shit out of each other




