https://xitter.cf/t.co/pcvuh7oF6Z Married to my wife. Father to my daughter. Aspiring Victor Meldrew.

Joined January 2009
It would be lovely if people on Waze could stop reporting emergency vehicles *that are moving*
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Top marks to @Leatherman - after 22 years of service, my knife was somewhat tired. Delighted to find that a) they have a 25 year warranty and b) a no hassle replacement was sent out.
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Lads, not being funny, but I bought a car off you last week. This today is... Optimistic.
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Have fixed the issue with my Nissan. By getting a Mazda.
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You know what I love doing on the first day in holiday abroad? Finding a Nissan dealer and finding they don't stock the obscure fuse that seems to have blown and stopped the boot opening. Grr.
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They're absolute shite at fixing cars though...
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I'm increasingly convinced the Le Shuttle timetable is entirely hypothetical and they just make it up as they go along.
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Ah, Bank Holiday down the tyre garage... #ffs
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Reader, this is apparently an enclosed porch...
This will be interesting, @RoyalMail, because we don't actually have an enclosed porch...
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This will be interesting, @RoyalMail, because we don't actually have an enclosed porch...
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Have left both @VodafoneUK and @virginmedia this week. In both cases the 'retention' offer given was considerably more than the current price and that for switching.
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The PC DOS version of 'Allo 'Allo! Computer Fun! may have been released, but no copy had ever surfaced. Until now. Preserved from original master disks for the first time from Games That Weren't: gamesthatwerent.com/2026/04/…
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Replying to @LeShuttle_Help
@LeShuttle_Help Hello from Calais! What's the point in offering departure times at check-in when your app and terminal screens then show they've all been retained anyway?!
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Re-timed, not retained!
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RIP Chuck Norris 😔
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Top tip: Save money on car washing by buying a Nissan. Then, it has to go back to a dealer so often that they'll just clean it once a month for you anyway...
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Wasn't thirsty anyway.
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I've worn RM Williams boots for the better part of 25 years. A pair need to be replaced, but having seen the current pricing it's absolutely insane. Thanks, but no.
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Not since Sainsbury's folded a baguette to make it fit in a crate...
Who is using click and collect at supermarkets? It must be the worst of both worlds - you don’t get to choose the stuff yourself, but you’ve still got to leave the house to pick it up. These must be troubled, troubled souls
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Amused that whilst booking Pizza Express it's mandated to give a reason for booking. Including 'A spontaneous meal out'. When booking. In advance.
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