Wilf Merttens

@Office @Apple I bought Word through app store but my subscription won't activate.. 3hrs on phone with Microsoft who say it must be Apple; 3 & more with Apple who say it must be Microsoft 😭🤪 Both say refund impossible. Curious which one of you really needed that £60 and why

@ReadforGoodUK Some fabulous monsters were created today at @InglehurstJun! Yr 5 had the secret life of a werewolf and Yr 3 had no less than a demon dog, a blob monster and an unexpected alliance between a family of angels and a family of devils!😈😇 #leicesterreadathon2023

@ReadforGoodUK Fun sessions today @Judgemeadow launching their Readathon as part of #leicesterreadathon2023! After workshopping some ideas, yr7 abandoned the one about a clown from space 😭 but then they did relate to me the adventures of a time-travelling cowboy🤠so, you know

Well happy to have our submission in consideration by the Pitch Film Fund @thepitch! It's a mocumentary about David set in a modern regime @johnhenrybaker @HeathStChurch — and it's up against some brilliant contenders by the look of it enterthepitch.com/the-fund/c…

I'm telling the true life story of a little known poet facing an apocalypse @baroquestock on 31st Oct @HeathStChurch. No, it's NOT me, even if he does show unusual humility and fortitude. Come hear tell of his magnificent woe! 🎻😭🖤🍻⚔️💥 #johannheermann

@JamieJBartlett I'll do it if you release the next episode! My thumb hurts from refreshing the feed and diamonds really bring my eyes out

Really happy to be online with these wonderful bozos this week .. Check us out @YESstoryman @_amandastories @jensomelunn eventbrite.co.uk/e/magic-sto…

If statues are for remembering then dammit why can't we have one of my wallet and keys

I love these @sleepdogs

Genius parallel 💀💀🤣

So I was trying to find a website to turn an Mp3 of me telling a story into text so I could use it as a script to make a podcast and the website produced an experimental piece of poetry, inspired (but certainly not constrained) by the story 🎷💢💎🌚🌈❔

This mother's day my mum is throwing a bone to those who suddenly find themselves to be home-schoolers. The charity she set up has put together some new learning at home packs, written by brilliant teachers and authors: hamilton-trust.org.uk/blog/l… @HamiltonTrust @ReadforGoodUK

Spare a thought in these troubled times for those who are bad at texting back. Touching base more than quadrupled since lock-down, un-responded to messages piling up, WhatsApp groups pinging all day, too many people to speak to 😨

Yes I am! Watch out @redbchristmas16  @palmerstonsch @BGreenIntSchool  @BelleriveFCJ @HalewoodAcademy & @MosslandsSchool !!! 🐺🔥👩‍🎤🏚️🎋☠️❤️👻🦾🕳️🕵️🍃🌌🐉🌈

🤖💃Storytelling workshop🧜‍♂️👹: still a few spaces left! I've run this inspiring day with a huge range of very brilliant/ odd people, come be one of them! *This Thurs 10 to 3 @HeathStChurch* “Endless playfulness… It made me feel inspired and terrified simultaneously. Fabulous.”

To anyone who has asked me about storytelling workshops: I'm doing one on *Thursday 20 Feb* at Heath St Baptist Church in Hampstead (v close to tube)!!! Come join in - will be a challenging day w lots of laughter and silliness and space for all kinds of tale 🔥🎋🧟‍♀🦊❄🌾🐧☠️

Weeping all the way to the polling booth I am 😭

This is what I'm singing

🔥🌿🍄☄️🌈🌊❤️ 'You can tell them - it all began when we voted Labour. When together we laid the foundations of that new society. Foundations so deeply rooted that no Tory government could ever tear them up again.' @johnmcdonnellMP @UKLabour

Love that '160 prominent economists' (@Independent) and the nation's fave anarchist are united in seeing the sense of Corbyn's revitalisation of our society '...now might be a good time for somebody functional to grab the wheel.' Alan Moore momentumnorthants.org.uk/ala… @leahmoore