I never know where to stand at parties so I don't feel like I'm in the way.
Edmonton, Alberta
Joined February 2015
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Digital Jørdøn™ retweeted
[Receiving Medal of Honor]
"Thank you Mr. President."
My Mom from the audience: "He wet the bed til he was 20!"
Digital Jørdøn™ retweeted
[business meeting at restaurant]
"There's more than one way to skin a cat"
[Family of cats at next table]
*mom cat puts paw on cat dad's arm
Digital Jørdøn™ retweeted
I asked my dad if he'd like to be buried beside my mom
He said to take off the ski-mask, put the gun down and get the hell out of his house
Digital Jørdøn™ retweeted
"Do you kiss your mother with that mouth?" Sigmund Freud asks a patient during a therapy session. He bites his pencil, "Because that's hot."
Digital Jørdøn™ retweeted
*pool hall
Date: You any good?
Me: I never hit the right angels.
D: Don't you mean angles?
M*swinging cue stick wildly at angel tree topper
Digital Jørdøn™ retweeted
Your feelings are fading fast, like Marty's picture while Earth Angel plays
Digital Jørdøn™ retweeted
That awkward moment when you make eye contact with the hotel maid who just handled your jizz rag
Thank you very much @MomOnFire
She's a must #FF follow and check out her latest hits too: favstar.fm/users/MomOnFire/m… teapawt.net/favstaroftheday/status…
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