Author of AUGUSTA, AN AMERICAN MUSE (2027). @VanityFair contributor and confirmed lounger. Appears annually in @NYMag’s Christmas Issue matrix.

NYC
Joined June 2014
Proud to formally announce my book, AUGUSTA: AN AMERICAN MUSE, coming in 2027. AUGUSTA expands on my November 2024 profile for @VanityFair, the second most read piece in the magazine that year, to cover the full half decade relationship between Augusta Britt and Cormac McCarthy.
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Drinking is very constructive. There’s something about that first flush that is very masculine. It’s like breaking through a dark wood at evening and stumbling upon something lighted. Everything is open from there. The flip side is that it is very feminine to be taken in by it. I think that’s where addiction to it breaks in: you set yourself up to conquer it this time, over and over and over again. In that sense it becomes like breathing and orgasm. A regular test of virility. The fight against it feminizes the body. But to never take it up is to never set your masculinity at hazard. No clue what it must feel like for women.
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Ethan Allen and the Green Mountain Boys ride again! Hie to the battlements of Fort Ticonderoga ye Loyalist landjobbers! He’ll have all of Quebec before he’s through!
JUST IN: U.S. federal government publishes map depicting New Hampshire absorbing the entire state of Vermont.
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
he’s a reporter, moron. Do you know what that is? Your little buddy is on trial for rape. That’s why Vin took his picture and reported on his height. You fucking incel loser
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I need help from AI developers for an ambitious project. DM me! Ancient Greek mathematicians did not recognize zero as a number. They very nearly invented calculus 2000 years before Newton without using zero, but positive geometrical magnitudes instead. I want to train an AI on the furthest advancements of Ancient Greek mathematics, geometry and the Parmenidean precept that non-being (zero) cannot exist, and introduce it to experimental observations of classical quantum mechanics. I want quantum observations to be interpreted in an entirely different mathematics that does not admit of nothingness, non-being, non-quantity, zero, etc. to see if it reveals relationships obscured by our modern mathematics, makes major breakthroughs, or hits the same road block.
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
keep posting… if you post hard enough clav might give you a kiss on the lips
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
Just say it out loud to get it over with: "This 'internet' of computing machines and protocols is really more of a limited peacetime prototype or demo that got out of control and was somehow accidently pushed into production a few decades ago. Shoulda said so earlier." Awkward.
OpenAI CEO Sam Altman: "I don't even know a dramatic enough word to use… models can find bugs that are outside of the normal threat model of what we think a hacker can do… hardware-level, insane stuff… I no longer think we're gonna be able to just patch all the bugs."
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The time I took over my university Confucius Institute back in 2019
The War Department has designated Confucius Institutes as a threat to our national security.
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
100% of my posts are about lorenzo barney dumbass. Aka the voice of our generation…. Something you’d realize if your iq wasn’t fucking room temperature
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
Vincenzo is so fine, go vibrate your smelly munts you woodpeckers
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
Replying to @clavicular
Brutal
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
Its always so obvious when someone can’t handle the mog so they seethe on X.
I was at the Clavicular arraignment today. It was a mini spectacle, and I mean mini. He is one of the tiniest little guys I’ve ever seen. Here he is getting heightmogged by normal sized dudes. Surprisingly unbuff. I understand him now. Full report soon.
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"I love being this close on your face. I'm so tight on your face right now."
#YouCanSeeEverything director Lance Oppenheim on masculinity: "I feel like [Nathan Fielder] is at his most masculine in You Can See Everything. I'd always tell him, "You look so handsome in this. I love being this close on your face. I'm so tight on your face right now and you look amazing." And he'd be like, "Dude, you could see my blackheads and my zits and stuff." I'd be like, "I actually think it makes you look better." He's a very unconventionally hyper-masculine man. That's a compliment, I guess." gq.visitlink.me/jDUiFp
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
Replying to @BarneysRubble0
@BarneysRubble0 I like your intellect
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
Meghan Markle’s dad, Thomas, under investigation for ‘hundreds, if not thousands’ of child porn images: report trib.al/yD4HtE8
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Vincenzo Barney is a sex god
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I was at the Clavicular arraignment today. It was a mini spectacle, and I mean mini. He is one of the tiniest little guys I’ve ever seen. Here he is getting heightmogged by normal sized dudes. Surprisingly unbuff. I understand him now. Full report soon.
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Me at the arraignment today.
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Vincenzo Barney retweeted
Clavicular exposed: as short.
I was at the Clavicular arraignment today. It was a mini spectacle, and I mean mini. He is one of the tiniest little guys I’ve ever seen. Here he is getting heightmogged by normal sized dudes. Surprisingly unbuff. I understand him now. Full report soon.
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Unfortunately 'I was eating alcoholically' has permanently entered my lexicon
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