I haven't listened to new music since 1988. There's nothing funnier than a monkey.
Asheville area, NC
Joined October 2010
- Tweets8.3K
- Following848
- Followers299
- Likes68.9K
Chuck Turtleman 🐢 retweeted
Don’t you dare turn this game off.
You owe this to the June version of yourself that was begging for it.
The Exorcist. Why I watched that at like 8 years old I no longer remember but that one messed with me. I also watched Fast Times, Car Wash etc. at the theater but it was by seeing them again as an adult that I realized I was too innocent to get what was going on.
This is a black rat snake. It fathered 3 snakes I've been keeping and breeding together for years. All babies have been normal and I assumed perhaps the gene wasn't heritable. Until this week. To my knowledge this is the only one in the world.
Chuck Turtleman 🐢 retweeted
Dolly Parton rose from poverty to stardom. She gave $500 to every student in her hometown who finished high school, she built hospitals and bald eagle preserves; her Imagination Library has gifted 300 million books to children. Roger Ebert once met her and came away thinking she was a literal angel. RIP.
Chuck Turtleman 🐢 retweeted
Call me crazy but this Sam Darnold kid may be the real deal! #onetownoneteam #QBU
Chuck Turtleman 🐢 retweeted
When he said "I messed up before the game even started" I was sure he was going to say that he took a big pile of edibles before kickoff.
Oh man, pretty sure I still have a couple of CDs that I’m on the hook to buy at regular price from 1990.
Today I was reminded of the time the Dukes of Hazzard found a crashed spaceship and befriended an alien that they called Lil' Cousin. I told anyone who would listen and for years (pre internet) nobody believed me.
Chuck Turtleman 🐢 retweeted
Cris Collinsworth: Raccoons kept getting my tomatoes. So I went out and bought a crossbow and a ghillie suit. I Camped out in my yard, blasted one at 3 AM, and displayed it as a warning. My neighbors called the ASPCA, so I have a court date next week.
Mike Tirico: Second down
Chuck Turtleman 🐢 retweeted
By far the funniest moment in Homer’s Odyssey is when Circe says, “Shall we have sex?” and Odysseus says, “You just turned all my men into pigs. You have the GALL to think I would sleep with you? Of course I will. Absolutely. But don’t do any weird spells”
Chuck Turtleman 🐢 retweeted
This German fan came to the USA for the World Cup and has quickly become my favorite account to follow by simply posting his every stop across the country.
He’s roadtripping through the south from town to town absolutely loving life.
The perfect timeline cleanse.
