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The Sagacious Unc

@BeingMattJones

Grub won't rustle itself #RiseAndRustle #Grubset

 (he/him)
Joined May 2015
  • Tweets3.9K
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Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)Photo by The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)
The Sagacious Unc retweeted
Crab Ride Goon (@AngusLegstrong) profile picture
Crab Ride Goon@AngusLegstrong8h
I am a lone and vicious samurai in an eternal battle with "audiobooks are reading" people
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Image from The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)
RT (@RT_com) profile pictureRT@RT_com18h
Pet marmot puts on a vest — AND it FITS
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Klaus Schwab: "You vill eat ze bugs, you vill live in ze pod" Whale: "That's exactly what I wanted, thank you"
man-eating bull shark (@GarlotsBack) profile pictureman-eating bull shark@GarlotsBackOct 29
I thought Antarctic krill were like near microscopic holy shit
Image from man-eating bull shark (@GarlotsBack)
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Does anybody know who so many children are dressing as Transylvanian nobility tonight? Am I too old?
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A bunch of ghosts and goblins have been skulking around so I killed and ate my neighbor just to be safe
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There are EMTs at the Taco Bell doing their best to help someone live mas
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My ancestors have been using the sandpaper method for generations and I'll be damned if I let the woke mob trample on tradition like this
bilatinman kio (@kzzrttt) profile picturebilatinman kio@kzzrtttOct 26
crazy how there’s a wrong way to masturbate and if nobody stops you you kinda fuck up your dick forever
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When I discover my "eunuch" advisor is a fraud
lacey (@emomommie) profile picturelacey@emomommieOct 27
why are your balls in My court
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Hot cars be like: "I got that dog in me"
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I have jester's burden
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The Sagacious Unc retweeted
woop (@woop54) profile picture
woop@woop54Oct 16
If he’s out by the of the end of the year I’m bumping digger to 5 stars
໊ (@buffys) profile picture໊
@buffysOct 15
DONALD TRUMP ADMITS HES HAVING MAJOR HEALTH ISSUES
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Smokin on that shit that had Alan Cumming
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I once managed to do this with white tea, turmeric, blood orange, etc. and I assure you this shit had less flavor than water
keel🌦 (@keelyclove) profile picturekeel🌦@keelycloveOct 13
today we are making The Flavor
Image from keel🌦 (@keelyclove)
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Image from The Sagacious Unc (@BeingMattJones)
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The Sagacious Unc retweeted
𝚓𝚎𝚜𝚞 (@trauma_market) profile picture
𝚓𝚎𝚜𝚞@trauma_marketOct 9
Alejandro Iñárritu’s Digger, Which I am sure most people have watched
Image from 𝚓𝚎𝚜𝚞 (@trauma_market)
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Just went to Spirit Halloween and they're all out of Digger costumes
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Underrated part of "Digger" is that Kenny, who owns a mass surveillance company, has his role go by a pseudonym for (what one would assume) his own privacy
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Venmo requesting everybody who recommended Lanterns to me, I'm charging for my time
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This is kind of the Passion
Michael Shindler (@MichaelShindler) profile pictureMichael Shindler
@MichaelShindlerOct 5
Coming of age novel about a guy turning 35
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The Sagacious Unc retweeted
✿ ♬.ᐟ (@manassas_) profile picture
✿ ♬.ᐟ@manassas_Oct 3
She said do you love me I tell her only partly I only love my Stills and my Nash and my Crosby
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