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I Schmidt, You Not

@BestBitMachine

I just flew in from a conference on the implementation of gender neutrality in the workplace, and boy or girl are my arms tired!

 Milwaukee
cabinlaughs.com/shows/252516
Joined April 2013
  • Tweets15.4K
  • Following946
  • Followers1.6K
Replying to @BestBitMachine @AnnCoulter
Fuck this bitch too
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Replying to @Yes2Homeschool1
Just saw this on Facebook and came to call you a fucking idiot
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Replying to @PocketsYou @breaksandflows
@PocketsYou @breaksandflows
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Replying to @TheMcKenziest
Her: Hey look at this bunch of gays here. Audience Member: Hey, I don’t like that, what if I made fun of you?” Her: *ugliest meltdown* She’s a bad comic who’s only where she is because she has a marketable look and social media savvy. This was pure insecurity.
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So offensive
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Found a pic of the clown who snitched
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Replying to @TheCinesthetic
The Mist
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Political ads have gotten too metal
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I don’t care what anyone says; it’s the same energy and it’s disrespectful
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People triggered by the opening ceremony when three judges in a row give a score of 6
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She followed up her performance by driving in cursive
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Do I want to be responsible for designing the best-selling T-shirt in the world?
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Breaking News: Dave Grohl Mocks Tanahashi For Not Playing Instrument Live
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When I try to order without looking at the menu
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Saw a squirrel and a rabbit hanging out in my backyard.
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Do you like when stand-up comics do crowd work? If you answered yes, you are gonna hate this—it’s all material baby! Give it a watch and tell me if you think it sucks. youtu.be/6Bll3S0anzY?si=-U74…
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Brutal, and I thought Kendrick/Drake got vicious…
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Replying to @fopminui @AMAZlNGNATURE
“Everyone’s coming over for the game tonight—gonna order some pizzas, case of beer, gonna be a good time. You in?”
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