How do I know Taylor Swift has just released new music? Angry white girls tweeting into the void trying to cancel Johnny Salami

Chris Rocked

SPEED AGILITY POWER I’m gonna buy an Audi

FUCKING SHOOT WHAT THE FUCK FUCK YOU JUST FUCKING SHOOT THE GODDAMN PUCK

Went out to buy milk. Came home with everything but milk.

I started buying in to the refillable laundry detergent, hand/dish soap movement. Every little bit helps, right? I also bought a Canada Goose jacket so take what you want from that

lmao just watched this jabroni skid his jeep (intentionally) while making a left at the intersection then promptly get pulled over by a cop

Beyond stoked to have a fidget spinner in lieu of a camera lens on my next phone

Best way to piss yourself off: look at reviews of something you recently bought and wait until you see anon completely shit on the product

Insanely jealous of people that are blessed by @JohnMayer’s current tour dates

Well, fuck everyone's playoff brackets then lmao

Cereal is an amazing invention. I can eat one bowl tactically and then refill the second bowl with the already sweetened cereal milk.