Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear) header
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Joined April 2013
Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)Photo by Boyna Bear (@BoynaBear)
I've noticed that one of the most common mistakes ambitious people make is believing that happiness is waiting on the other side of achievement. In behavioral science, we call this the arrival fallacy. It's the idea that once you reach the next milestone, get the promotion, earn the recognition, or accomplish the goal, you'll finally feel fulfilled. But satisfaction doesn't come from arriving. It almost always comes from making progress toward something meaningful. That's why goals are important, but they are not the reward. The pursuit is.
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Boyna Bear retweeted
Boris Becker dropped some powerful wisdom on the High Performance Podcast: He discovered Stoicism in prison and it changed everything. The story that hit him hardest? Marcus Aurelius — the most powerful man in the Roman Empire, basically Trump and Putin combined — was miserable despite having it all. Meanwhile, his slave Epictetus was always smiling and at peace. Aurelius asked him: “I have everything. You have nothing. How are you happier than me?” That moment birthed a core Stoic truth: the only thing you truly control is your own thoughts. Not your wife, kids, job, reputation — just your mind. Master that, and you master your life. Becker learned it the hard way behind bars: when you’re completely alone with your thoughts, you’d better make them beautiful… or they’ll destroy you. In a world full of noise, comparisons, and things we can’t control, Stoicism reminds us where real power and peace actually live — inside. I’ve found this idea quietly life-changing during tough seasons — the freedom that comes from focusing only on what’s truly yours to manage. What about you — what’s one thing outside your control that you’ve had to let go of, and how did it change your peace of mind?
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People ask me all the time, “How do I keep my kids in the faith?” The answer is simpler than most people want it to be: your example matters more than your words. Children learn by imitation long before they learn by instruction. If you want your kids to be more grateful, let them see your gratitude. If you want them to complain less, let them see you complain less. If you want them to have faith, let them see you practice it sincerely and wholeheartedly. A child watches the way you live far more closely than they listen to what you say.
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Boyna Bear retweeted
Winston Churchill fought his depression with bricks. He'd lay them for hours at his country home in Kent. He joined the bricklayers' union. And in 1921 he wrote about why it worked. It took psychology another 75 years to catch up. He called his depression the "Black Dog." It followed him for decades. His method for fighting it back was as basic as it sounds: laying brick after brick, hour after hour. Churchill spelled out his theory in a long essay for The Strand Magazine. People who think for a living, he wrote, can't fix a tired brain just by resting it. They have to use a different part of themselves. The part that moves the eyes and the hands. Woodworking, chemistry, bookbinding, bricklaying, painting. Anything that drags the body into a problem the mind can't solve by itself. Modern psychology now calls this behavioral activation. It's one of the most-studied depression treatments out there. Depression sets a behavior trap. You feel bad, so you stop doing things, and doing less means less to feel good about. Feeling worse makes you do even less. The loop tightens until you can't breathe inside it. Behavioral activation breaks the loop from the action side. You schedule the activity first, even when every part of you doesn't want to. Doing it produces small rewards: a wall gets straighter, a painting fills in, a messy room gets clean. Those small rewards slowly rewire the brain. Action comes first, and the feeling follows. Researchers at the University of Washington put this to the test in 2006. They studied 241 adults with major depression and compared three treatments: behavioral activation, regular talk therapy, and antidepressants. For the people who were most severely depressed, behavioral activation matched the drugs. It beat the talk therapy. A 2014 review of more than 1,500 patients across 26 trials backed up the result. Physical work like bricklaying does something extra on top of this. It crowds out rumination, the looping bad thoughts that grind people down during the worst stretches of depression. Bricklaying needs both hands and gives feedback brick by brick: each one is straight or crooked. After an hour you can see exactly how much wall you built. No room left for the mental chewing. The line George Mack used in his post, "depression hates a moving target," is good poetry. The science behind it is sharper. Depression hates a brain that has somewhere else to be.
Winston Churchill used to lay 200 bricks per day to keep his mind busy when feeling down. Depression hates a moving target.
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Boyna Bear retweeted
I'll be honest, I've spent a lot of time trying to figure out my life. Mapping it out. Planning the next move. Trying to make sense of my circumstances when things didn't go as planned. But here's what God has been teaching me, there's a difference between asking what's next and asking what does God want. And those are very different questions. Your uncertainty isn't a dead end. It's an invitation. An invitation to stop white-knuckling your own plan and trust that His purpose is bigger than anything you could map out on your own. So let me ask you, are you more focused on your circumstances or your Savior?
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Ten years ago, I published Grit. In those pages, I wrote down everything I’d discovered about world-class achievers and how passion and perseverance set them apart. Since then I’ve been studying the situations that make world-class achievement possible. My research shows that the situation shapes you—but you have the power to shape it first. How? 1. Set up your personal space. 2. Pick your peers. 3. Attract mentors. 4. Choose your culture. Getting situated means finding the people and places that bring out your best. Grit is great, but to realize your potential, you also need to get situated. Pre-order Situated. Out September 1st. angeladuckworth.com/situated
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Eagles chief of security Dom DiSandro visited Giants rookie RB Cam Skattebo while he was in a Philadelphia area hospital for surgery on his dislocated ankle, and brought him some snacks, per the @PhillyInquirer.
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Boyna Bear retweeted
Rest in Peace, Gordon Jago. His was a life well lived, all achieved with treating people with kindness and respect. 🙏 #QPR
'A true football man and one of the most respected figures in QPR's history.' Club historian @ChrisGuyW12 pays tribute to Gordon Jago 💙🤍

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Boyna Bear retweeted
.@ShannonSharpe telling his brother Sterling Sharpe that he's finally made the @ProFootballHOF will move you to tears. 🥹 #PFHOF25
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Boyna Bear retweeted
Saban on Leadership. “Leadership is about helping somebody else for their benefit, not yours.” - Nick Saban True leadership isn’t about power. It’s about lifting others up and putting the team first. Lead for impact, not applause.
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Boyna Bear retweeted
BIG BOY!! Congratulations on this honor! Keep moving forward, be where your feet are!! Much love! 🤍
So proud of @Karece_Ku2_Hoyt for being named 5A Built Ford Tough Player of the Week! The link below is to his interview! tinyurl.com/Week-11-5A-Ford-…
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Boyna Bear retweeted
The vibes at Euro 2024 are immaculate 🔥 This is the magic of football! ❤️ (via @andreschnura)
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THE DUTCH HAVE ARRIVED. Streets of Hamburg transformed into one gigantic Orange rave. Euros can now officially begin. 🧡
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LOVED getting to watch this amazing group of kids perform their Drama Club play they’ve been working on this Spring 😊 SO proud of these current and past Hutchison Kinder Crew kids ❤️❤️❤️ @LindseyElem
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Jurgen Klopp kicks off a song for Arne Slot and urges Liverpool supporters to get behind their new manager.
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For the final time, JURGEN KLOPP FIST PUMPS IN FRONT OF THE ANFIELD KOP. ❤️‍🔥
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Boyna Bear retweeted
I just love your smile @Karece_Ku2_Hoyt Love you tons!
First look at 2027 Lone Star QB/ATH Karece Hoyt. Will command an offense that has P4 talent at just about every position group. Played RB/WR/QB/KR as a freshman. Holds offers from Texas A&M, Michigan, Penn State, SMU, Ole Miss, and Texas Tech, among others.
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When watching the Osage Singers at the Oscars, my inner voice said “They’re the ones bringing us all up on stage tonight, that’s how it should be.” The history in the film and of the moment rightfully belong to the Osage Nation. What an honor to be close enough to feel the drum❤️‍🔥
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No matter who takes home the Oscars tonight, this historic moment is a win!
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Boyna Bear retweeted
8 Mistakes Coaches Can Make 1. Being disorganized 2. Unclear role definition 3. Not leading by example 4. No plan to build leaders 5. Ignoring team dynamics 6. Not addressing locker room issues 7. Failing to communicate effectively 8. Not remembering "Why you coach"
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