Political digital ads, internet culture, and existential dread
Portland, OR
Joined March 2009
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My 2026 hot take is that the favorable polling and good vibes for Dems is depressing fundraising in the final stretch. This is all Actblue data. Another case of what's good for America is bad for fundraising.
(Wish I had 2018 data. Lmk if you have that! Would love to compare.)
Crystal Stanford retweeted
I’ve been in this fight my whole life.
Don’t ever let them make you feel powerless. When working people stand together, there’s nothing we can’t do.
Today is the last day to vote early. Let’s go win this thing, Maine.
Crystal Stanford retweeted
Every Dem is using a sophisticated model called “PTSD” that subtracts 5 points from every red state Dem and 10 for Maine and South Carolina
Crystal Stanford retweeted
Susan Collins’ allies ran ads against me in Portland, Oregon.
Should’ve asked Navatek. They knew exactly where to send the money.
I am someone who happens to know that Troy Jackson is a man who genuinely enjoys a fruity drink. He was not coerced by DC consultants to drink boba tea!! A lumberjack from Allagash can’t enjoy a little treat people?
Crystal Stanford retweeted
It's 2027. The AI bubble has popped. The US dollar has bust. It's 500 dollars to buy a burger and it makes you immediately have diarrhea. The sun has been renamed America.
I like the Haley Stevens video. It reminds me of the way I talk to my husband when it’s 10pm on a weeknight and he’s taking bedtime way too seriously and I’m jacked up on the blue light from my devices and I need to annoy him for the fun of it.
Crystal Stanford retweeted
I love when you’re high and you can hear the back of a song…like bitch is that an oboe?
No one in the history of the world has ever wanted to get push notifications to their phone from a Google Meets chat. No one.
Crystal Stanford retweeted
speaking as glibly as Beavis & Butthead. does T***p even grasp the profound significance of what he has set in motion in the Middle East? this person whose most essential self is riding in a golf cart fatly, cheating at the profoundly insignificant game of leisure golf when he assumes no one is looking.
Pres Trump told me tonight the US had identified possible candidates to take over Iran, but they were killed in the initial attack.
"The attack was so successful it knocked out most of the candidates," Trump told me. "It's not going to be anybody that we were thinking of because they are all dead. Second or third place is dead."
Crystal Stanford retweeted
🚨 NEW: Netflix secretly recorded an interview with Dr. Jane Goodall in March, set to air only after her death.
In it, she says she wishes Trump and Elon Musk could be blasted into space… and closes with:
“Don’t lose hope.”
Now that’s a final message.
