Jared Thompson

One of the biggest mistakes we make is measuring our success against someone else’s. Katie Ledecky nails it: “You don’t have to win the race. You just have to win your race.” Focus on your growth. Your progress. Your journey.

A message for parents this fall sports season: 👇 Some parents struggle with it. Their child isn’t getting much playing time. What do they do? I’ve lived it. My son was the 9th/10th man on our varsity basketball team for two years; he didn’t play in every game. I could have gotten upset with the coach. But there was one problem... I was the coach. I had coached that group since youth basketball. And in grades 1–8, my philosophy was always the same: every kid plays, every kid gets time. But high school sports are different. And I was the varsity coach. Once you get to the varsity level, the focus shifts to competition and winning. That’s reality. My son understood that. He embraced his role. He led, encouraged, practiced hard, and made our team better. And I was proud, not because he scored points, but because he became a leader and a great teammate. He was also part of a team that finished 3rd at the state tournament and made memories that will last a lifetime. More importantly, the lessons he learned through that experience have helped him tremendously as he’s become an adult. So what can parents do when their child isn’t playing as much as they’d like? Here are 3 things I have learned: 1. Struggle is part of sports. High school sports are competitive. Not everyone is going to start. Not everyone is going to play the minutes they want. That can be hard. But learning to compete, work, improve, and keep showing up when things aren’t going your way is part of the experience. 2. Let it be their experience. This one can be hard for parents. We want to fix things for our kids. But sometimes the best thing we can do is support them while they figure it out. Listen. Encourage. Cheer. Then let them handle the conversation with their coach and decide how they’re going to respond. 3. Don’t rob them of the lesson. Some of the best lessons sports teach come when things don’t go the way we want. How do you respond when you don’t get the role you want? Do you quit? Complain? Blame someone else? Or do you keep working and find another way to help your team? Those lessons go far beyond sports. Parents, make peace with playing time. Not because watching your child struggle is easy. But because sometimes the lessons they learn on the bench will matter far longer than the minutes they play on the court. Sometimes the struggle is the blessing.