Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
Always a good and healthy sign when the stock market looks like it's opening up a black hole.
Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
I moved from Canada to England while still in school, and one day in French forgot the word for umbrella (parapluie), and wrote ‘umbrellaire’ on a quiz. The teacher called me up later and asked if that was Québécois — I said yes, she laughed, and I got full credit.
Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
“What’s your biggest impact on the internet” I created these bad boys. you’re welcome.
i’m going to be that petty bitch
food and drinks consumed in a movie theater doesn't really go into your body. it goes into your movie theater body which is separate & holy and harm-proof
Readers added context they thought people might want to know
Stolen tweet x.com/plume__/status…
Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
Wait, this actually makes sense.
From 2014 Thanos’s perspective, Clint Barton was the brain behind Loki’s entire 2012 Earth invasion before switching sides.
For all Thanos knew, Hawkeye was Earth’s supreme military tactician.
Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
È incredibile come un gruppetto di multimiliardari e i loro burattini politici siano riusciti a far credere a milioni di persone che il diritto alla salute e a un salario dignitoso siano idee da sovversivi di estrema sinistra.
Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
one of the stranger parts of being an adult is realising how many people have never questioned a single belief they inherited, not even out of curiosity.
Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
So that's why we barely see constructs in Lanterns. Budget went to CGI backgrounds…
…of rural Nebraska 💀💀💀💀💀💀💀
Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
one time a woman accused me of being a prostitute and called the cops on me bc i was taking too long at an atm and was depositing a big stack of small bills (pizza delivery) and when the cop showed up he literally asked me why i didnt just run off
Derpdevil | 🍉 retweeted
Whoever made this actually understands that 90% of the setups in Tom and Jerry start because Tom does something like to fuck with Jerry and acts real coy about it.
Almost everyone in their late 20s and 30s is having a quarter-life crisis because the previous generation wrecked the economy, priced us out of adulthood, and now treats us like failures for not owning a house or car that once cost a few years’ wages, not a lifetime of debt.
















































