I travel the world in search of good things to tweet about. Mostly I tweet crap I think up. What a waste of money. I don't follow back spam accounts
North America
Joined May 2013
- Tweets8.8K
- Following3.7K
- Followers3.9K
- Likes17.4K
Pinned Tweet
Marriage tip: describe all women in work stories as older, heavyset, older *and* heavyset, or as men.
Drano Raul (parody) retweeted
Autocorrect just changed “have a prosperous 2025” to “have a preposterous 2025” and I feel that’s much more likely.
Drano Raul (parody) retweeted
"giddy up jingle horse, pick up your feet" sounds like something a homophobic gym teacher would say
Drano Raul (parody) retweeted
There’s people out there who can go through life never apologizing for hurting you, and then there’s people like me who apologize to inanimate objects when we bump into them.
Drano Raul (parody) retweeted
my boss is so stupid, i lie to him constantly and he never figures it out. i'll be like "no problem" "sounds good" "no worries" "you got it" "no sweat" meanwhile it is a huge problem, it sounds like shit, he should be worried, he does not have it, and i am frequently sweating
Drano Raul (parody) retweeted
Me: I’ve always wanted to stare at someone from across the street then disappear when a bus passes
Interviewer: I meant more like “professional goals”
Drano Raul (parody) retweeted
In 31 years of age I think I’ve finally discovered the cure to depression and it’s just leaving the house at every single possible opportunity no matter how badly you don’t want to.
Drano Raul (parody) retweeted
If you'd told me as a child that one day I would have hundreds of robot followers, I would have imagined something much cooler than this.
