sojujinbutsu retweeted
Putting a flag on your house makes you patriotic, putting a flag on your vehicle makes you look like you get medical advice on Facebook
Been watching too much Mike Flanagan lately
I’m watching From now but I’m still waiting for this queen to show up
sojujinbutsu retweeted
Me, seductively: I can tie the stem in a knot using my tongue 😉
Pumpkin patch owner: Get out
I have Schrodinger's chat where it tells me I have 2 msgs, but when I check, nothing and it will disappear and show up again later.. It also will tell me I have 3 notifications when I only have 1 or 6 when I have 4. Always 2 extra. So that's something for a $44 bn company does.
sojujinbutsu retweeted
they should do The Dropout season 2 going through the trial and after with Amanda Seyfried playing Elizabeth Holmes again and then when they get to You Can See Everything filming Elle Fanning plays Amanda Seyfried
sojujinbutsu retweeted
It kind of irks me when someone tweets that twitter used to be fun
Like it’s our responsibility to entertain this donkey
sojujinbutsu retweeted
If you ever hear a Canadian say “Sorry, not sorry”, try turning them off and then back on again, they are experiencing a software glitch
sojujinbutsu retweeted
Remember finding out your teacher's first name and weaponizing it, or was I just a little shit?
sojujinbutsu retweeted
when you grow up with people like mine you either learn to forgo outside validation or you crave it so desperately you’ll do almost anything to get it; i’m lucky i got the former
sojujinbutsu retweeted
Face it ladies, he's just one viral tweet away from dumping you for a much younger Twitter crush with a higher follower count
I had an ex who told me about a girl he dated previously who did this… he said one time he went down on her and she had thought she took it out but it was like eating out a paper maché pussy and he had to keep wiping his mouth
excuse me... WHAT!!!!!!? I screamed!
nytimes.com/2026/10/22/books…




















