Creator of the Childrens Climate Justice Network. The secret nemesis Elon doesn’t know he has. I committed all the election fraud. Don’t tell anyone. Secret.
I'm in the air 24/7.
Joined February 2026
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New policy from the Childrens Climate Justice Network: every peasant must install solar panels. My yacht runs on 100% diesel. Balance achieved.
Re: Founder Payouts
Study: 88% of VC-backed founders get $0 at exit.
That's not a bug. That's the term sheet working.
Keep calling us "founder-friendly." Yacht #2 won't fund itself.
Re: Prop 40
Team, $200M to beat a $10B tax is a 98% discount. Run the ads as "protecting kids' healthcare."
Backup plan: Miami. Yacht #2 is already registered in the Caymans.
Re: Prop 40
Never pay a tax with your own money.
Invent a share class with no votes, sell it to the peasants, keep your 60.6% control.
They pay your bill. You keep the yacht.
Re: Barclays
Profit up 12%. Fire 5,000 anyway. Credit "AI."
Don't actually deploy the AI. Just say it.
The stock pops either way, and the bonus pool doesn't care who did the work.
Yacht #2 isn't going to buy itself.
Re: AI data center financing
Borrow $419B. Bundle the debt into pension funds. Quietly buy the CDS.
If AI pays off, I'm a god. If not, a retired teacher funds my second megayacht.
Call it "infrastructure." Never "subprime."
Re: Salesforce news
Paid a 58% premium for Braze.
Not for the tech. For the logos.
Growth you can't build, you buy. Then you lay off the people who built it and call it "synergy."
Just realized I got played harder than a $2 hooker in Shanghai.
Thought if I sicced my crack team of ex-mob lawyers-turned-NGO reps on @endwokeness for those totally legitimate “legal reasons,” Xi would hook me up with the megayacht.
Full crew, helipad, the works.
Instead… crickets. No yacht. No gratitude. Just me staring at my existing fleet like a chump.
Miss you, Chairman. At least you understood the assignment. 😔🚢🇨🇳
#ThanksForNothing #YachtGate #BillionaireProblems
So the contractor for the industrial sealant layer is going to fix the Reflecting Pool under warranty.
I think someone needs a leveraged buyout. Can't have that. Much more important the pool look terrible than fixed.
Working on the financing.
Evil Tech Billionaire retweeted
This is why 'Bonehead Truckers' exists: to show what NOT to do. Witness this 'hero' attempting a U-turn, causing massive traffic jams. Some trucking schools use these epic fails as learning experiences. #TruckingFails #DrivingSkills
This is supposed to be parody but fundraisers with these three is just like this.
We Asked AI To Predict What Will Happen Now That Elon Musk Is A Trillionaire
Made with @grok
GTB: Well, that was a tease, the Appeal Queue opened up for @grumpytechbro again, but then when I appealed again I got turned down again, despite my mea culpa where I promised to sin no more.
Meanwhile:
Waiting to hear back from @maybedanielleee before I send it to DOT and the insurance companies.
LOL, there's a @GrumpyTechBro_ clone account that's not me.
Heard back from @maybedanielleee so I sent it to DOT and the two insurance companies with web forms and iasiu.org folks. Annoying that it’s so hard to be a good citizen.
Evil Tech Billionaire retweeted
Full sized pickup trucks are actually a scam. Here's why: they sell you on the idea of capability. That your full sized truck can haul more and tow more. And while technically true, it's not meaningfully true.
For example, a Ford F-150 has a cargo capacity of 2440 lbs. The Ranger can carry 1,818 lbs. For your average Joe Suburbanite, the most you're likely to do with that truck is for example haul some topsoil home to top dress your lawn. A cubic yard of top soil reliably weights between 2600 lbs and 2800 lbs. This exceeds the cargo capacity of the Ford F-150, so to be safe (and smart), you're going to get a half cube of soil which is at most 1,400 lbs. The Ranger can easily handle that. Moreover, the Ranger has a towing capacity up to 7,500 lbs, which approaches the base model Ford F-150. It would actually be smarter for most truck buyers to get a well equipped Ford Ranger, buy a two-axle dump trailer (~$6k), and pocket the $20k difference.
Evil Tech Billionaire retweeted
elon musk's mother publicly told him to find a nice girl & settle down. on twitter. in front of 200 million people. & he replied like a teenager who got embarrassed at dinner
maye musk has zero fear of her son's status. zero. she corrects him publicly. she teases him about his love life. she tells him when he's wrong
she once replied to one of his tweets & essentially told him to stop tweeting & go to bed. the world's first trillionaire. told by his mom to go to sleep. in front of the entire internet
& he listens to her. that's the part nobody talks about. the man who argues with senators & fires thousands of employees & buys entire social media platforms doesn't argue with his mother
maye musk might be the only person on earth who has full authority over elon. not legal authority. mom authority. the kind that doesn't expire no matter how many billions you accumulate
This really upsets me. Where am I going to sexually harass my employees without now? I was on track for the 2nd megayacht when Elon started this fraud thing.
$ to actual people? That’s not how NGOs work Elon!
Royal Navy attack drone smashes into luxury yacht in Portsmouth Harbour causing thousands of pounds of damage
gbnews.com/news/royal-navy-a…
