
Evel retweeted
Good morning to anyone who didn't have sex last night!
The rest of you can go fuck yourselves! Wait, what?
Evel retweeted
I don't drink a lot, but when I do, I scream sing Flagpole Sitta and mess up the words.
Evel retweeted
Welcome to your 50s! Not only do you have pill sorters, but their labels are worn clear off.
Evel retweeted
if you’re fighting a fight in your heart that you just can’t talk about, i’m sending you hugs
Evel retweeted
Since we've broken up, there are questions that come to mind, like "Who will I dress up as a Playboy bunny for, now?"
Evel retweeted
You can never have too much
~ hoarder’s motto
~ whore’s motto
…and also words to live by
Evel retweeted
Kids these days do not know the terror 70’s parents engendered with just a withering stare.
Evel retweeted
Gisele probably made Tom put together an IKEA bookcase and he was like “fuck this…where’s my helmet?”












