Mr. Gander (@GFGander) header
Mr. Gander (@GFGander) profile picture

Mr. Gander

@GFGander

Blathering about nonsense since 2012.

 New Jersey, USA
favstar.fm/users/gfgander/recent
Joined August 2012
  • Tweets48.6K
  • Following858
  • Followers2.5K
431Media
Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)Photo by Mr. Gander (@GFGander)
It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 10 years, since 9 Aug 2012 (via @twi_age).
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It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 9 years, since 9 Aug 2012 (via @twi_age).
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It's my #Twitterversary! I have been on Twitter for 8 years, since 9 Aug 2012 (via @twi_age).
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I'm rubber and you're glue. She's tape. He's a stapler. Those guys are paper clips. All my friends are office supplies.
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Mr. Gander retweeted
kim (@KimmyMonte) profile picture
kim@KimmyMonte13 Apr 2017
How to prepare for your vacation: •unplug the plants •leave radio on for the oven •have mail forwarded to the sun •buy trial size shoes •ham
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I was trying so hard not to scream out loud at 2AM when I saw this last night
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Mr. Gander retweeted
ghost mom (@radtoria) profile picture
ghost mom@radtoria20 Mar 2017
Son, it's time we talked about the birds and the bees. Why are there so many dead ones under your bed? Has your urge to kill grown stronger?
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Mr. Gander retweeted
Mave (@MavenofHonor) profile picture
Mave@MavenofHonor9 Mar 2017
If you must imagine an otter wearing a lil top hat, AT LEAST add a pretend chin strap so he doesn't lose it in the ocean
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"Labia" is both the singular & plural form of the word. Like "Deer". So "deer labia" could literally involve ANY amount of deer vaginas!
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The difference between jelly and jam is that i don't enjoy jellying things in my bunghole
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There are no "favors" from me at work. There's "That could possibly be conceived as related to my job" or "No way is that my fucking job."
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(2027) Hi, this is my son Aiydaen and my daughter Aighdenne
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Heard of the mongoose diet but can't find enough snake eggs? Try the nongoose diet! it's pretty much everything in the universe except geese
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[soldier holds me after I've been shot] me: tell your wife...i love her soldier: you're gonna be o- wait what
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frighteningly upbeat waiter threatens us with an explanation of the restaurant's concept
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Mr. Gander retweeted
mo (@chuuew) profile picture
mo@chuuew7 Nov 2015
Me: I'd invite you in but my place is a mess Friend: That's OK. I don't mind M: The mess tho F: Don't be silly M: I don't want u in my house
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WARDEN: any last words ME: come closer WARDEN: *leans down* yes? ME: *whispering* never gonna give you up never gonna let you down
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